


Love Ranchers

by ThePhoenixofHumanity



Category: Septiplier - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-07-17 22:27:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7288525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePhoenixofHumanity/pseuds/ThePhoenixofHumanity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mark became a slime rancher a week ago. No on expected him to become a pro in seven short days. Mark isn't a pro, but he manages.<br/>Jack's four month anniversary of becoming a slime rancher is coming up, but his bosses aren't impressed because he isn't bringing in the money that he's supposed to, but Jack is trying.<br/>Mark and Jack met through an unusual encounter and quickly learned what the other was about regarding their ranches. Mark is impressed with Jack and Jack doesn't like Mark. Can love find these two souls? Or will competition drive them apart?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meet Mark

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Everybody! My name is ThePhoenixofHumanity and I welcome you to the first chapter of Love Ranchers! If this story does sound familiar, that is because I am HumanitysRenegade on Wattpad. I decided to post my work here as well. This story was inspired by Slime Rancher, a game I found incredibly cute, and my love of Septiplier. I really do hope you enjoy this story.

Slime.  
What was it about that word that made someone cringe?  
Well, let’s consider the word slime itself.  
Slime was a simple five letter word that meant a moist, soft, and slippery substance, typically regarded as repulsive. And something repulsive was gross. Slime wasn’t something you thought of as ‘cute’ or ‘adorable’ or regarded it with anything nice. In fact, if you even called someone slime, you were calling them the lowest of the low.  
Now you may be asking what all that has to do with slime.  
Well, it all started about fifty years ago.  
Scientists had discovered another planet that was heading towards the earth. At first, people panicked, thinking that the two planets would collide. But that wasn’t the case. Instead, this new planet was pulled in by the gravity of the sun and established an orbit that was eerily similar to Earth’s. Further discovery showed that the planet was almost exactly like Earth, with geographical differences. No one knew who inhabited the planet, but that was what explorers were hired for. Ten people were sent to the planet to examine what could reside there. They were given a year to do so.  
Six months into the exploration found the first slime.  
A man had been looking around new land when he heard it. A squeal. A foreign sounding squeal at that, one that didn’t sound like any human, nor animal he had ever heard. So carefully, he had taken his gun, and went off towards the sound.  
What he found was…odd, to say the least.  
There was a pink blob…thing on the ground, twitching. The man was cautious as he approached, and once he was within distance, he hit it as hard as he could with the butt of his gun. The blob just jiggled and let out an adorable squeal. The man was confused, then he freaked out when the blob turned on its own and smiled at him.  
He promptly fainted.  
A few hours later found him waking up to the blob gnawing on his shoe in obvious hunger. The man only had a pogoberry (the native fruit that resembled a passion fruit) he was going to eat later, which he tossed to the blob. The little thing quickly devoured it, giggled and made an odd motion. And then out popped a crystalline item from its…backside. The man sent it back to the Earth for examination. It was found to be a very expensive and valuable substance.  
Once that was found out, people flocked to the new planet to try and farm for this substance. However, it didn’t work. For some reason, the slimes (which were correctly named after scientists examined them) didn’t respond well to the greedy people who tried to force them to produce plorts (again, correctly named after study). In fact, many of those people ended up devoured by the Tarr, dangerous, grayish slimes that ate anything and everything. Tarrs formed when Largos ate plorts that weren’t like the ones they naturally produced, and many people though that once they fed a plort to slime, they could create super slimes that would produce high-priced plorts that would make them rich. Instead, they created Tarr, which could only be incinerated. Sadly, those greedy people ended up being eaten by the Tarr, never to be seen again. It was a horrible death apparently, since one man who was almost devoured by a Tarr but instead lost his leg. It was a horrible, painful gnawing that burned and it was the worst feeling in the world.  
Now, who to help farm? Who was nice enough and humble enough to do this? Not just force the slimes to produce plorts, but to help others learn about them? Instead of forcing them to produce, letting them live in a sort of…loose captivity?  
And that was what ranchers were hired for.  
~LINEBREAK~  
“Ooh! They’re adorable!”  
This was Mark.  
Mark Fischbach, 23 years old, had been hired as a rancher for the slime on the new planet. A lover of animals and of space, Mark was one of the best candidates for a new slime rancher. He loved animals dearly, having worked at a zoo for majority of his life, and just had a deep fascination for space. Putting those two thing together found Mark Edward Fischbach as the next slime rancher. Mark was excited at the prospect of visiting another planet, and when he heard about these new creatures on the planet, he was slightly apprehensive (then again, last time Felix told him about a new job prospect, it was as a security job, and he heard people had died on that job, so he was slightly scared of any job possibility that Felix recommended to him) since he had no idea what the slimes could be like. They could change into monsters at night for all he knew!  
But, he was a sucker for animals, cute animals, and for anything regarding space and other planets, Mark was on board.  
“They look like little poops!” Mark gushed, poking a pink slime.  
The little thing giggled, popping back into it’s original shape.  
“They’re adorable! I like this.” Mark happily sucked the pink slime into his vacpack and grinned. That made ten slimes, which would be enough for this venture. He only strayed a few steps away from the property that was given to him, and they were already slimes around. Just pink ones though, but Mark figured he’d have to do more exploration to find different species. The world was big, and even though it had already been colonized, there were still areas that hadn’t been explored yet, areas that were filled with slime.  
“No! Chica, don’t eat that!” Mark ran over to his cute pup and had to pry her mouth open to release the slime that she had been eating. Chica had been curious about the slimes, but after a thorough sniff, Chica found that she liked the slimes and though that she could eat them. That wasn’t the case, and it probably wasn’t good for Chica either.  
“There.” Once Chica was preoccupied with chasing after a Hen Hen, Mark shot his slime into the corral (which was apparently the color of cheer, whatever that meant) that would hold the slimes.  
“Okay….” Mark scratched his head. “Now how do I make plorts?”  
The slimes happily bounced around, stacking on top of one another. Mark was too concerned with what he was sent here for, discovering slimes and their physiology, and for how to make plorts, to notice the intelligence of the slimes as they stacked together for escape. There were about fifteen in the corral, and Mar wasn’t paying attention to them.  
“What is a plort anyways?” Mark hadn’t really been educated on that part. He was just told he had to make them, and that it would be relatively easy. All he had to do was insert the plorts into the plort machine and bam! He’d have credits on his card and more information on the slime (of course, Mark only received a cut of what the plorts were worth, but that was neither here nor there) and he have a nice job. Bu how to make a plort?  
“I guess I can just feed them and wait…” Mark guessed. He looked up at the sky, and saw something falling…  
“Fuck!” Mark cursed, running towards it. “Damn it! Get back here!”  
He chased down the slimes that had somehow escaped and sucked them into his vacpac shooting them back into the corral. The slimes bounced and swayed happily, still trying to stack.  
“No!” Mark shot a pulse wave from his gun, scattering the slimes all though the corral. “Don’t do that! Stop escaping!”  
They didn’t really understand human speech, so Mark could only assume that they wouldn’t really listen. Captivity wasn’t really their thing he guessed. Then again, the corrals were kinda small, so there wasn’t much room for them to maneuver.  
“Stay!” Mark pointed at the slimes, who watched his finger with wide eyes. “You stay in there!”  
The slimes just squealed and cooed, and went back to what they were doing.  
“If you get hungry, do you bounce around?” Mark asked the slime.  
They just kept bouncing.  
Mark sighed. “I guess there’s nothing much for me to do but feed you.” He shot some carrots into the corral, the only food from Earth that was normal here and grew naturally. The slime all crowded around and fought for the carrots, since there were only seven.  
“Wow…I guess you guys like to eat.” Mark shot some pogofruit into the corral, and again, the slimes flocked towards it and ate what they could. “But then, how do you-“  
Mark was cut off by an odd sound, and then lying on the ground was a plort. Well, Mark guessed with was a plort. “Mkay then.” He sucked that into his gun and whistled as he trotted over to the plort machine, shooting it into the machine. Nothing really happened, but he heard a chime and checked his card. He had seven more credits than he did before.  
“So, wait…Their shit is money?” Mark scratched his head again. “But…that means I have to regularly feed them…and collect their shit?” What was wrong with this job?! And why did he take it?!  
Mark with still an amateur at the slime rancher thing. He had only had this job for three days and he was already slightly lost. On the first day, he explored around his home. The second day found him floundering around, trying to figure out what a corral was (he had no idea it was the big cage like structure and ran around shooting the slimes anywhere he could on his ranch) and trying to prevent the slimes from bouncing off. Day three was a day of play with the Hen Hens, the chicken-like animals he found on the ranch. Day four found him and Chica sleep for half the day, since Mark had thought it’d be brilliant to jump off a cliff and see if there were any underwater. Yeah, it wasn’t as smart as he thought it was, and after he dragged himself back up the cliff, he collapsed in bed. The rest of the day was used to study up on what his objective was (he still had no idea what he was doing other than collecting shit). Day five was odd. Chica had eaten a slime and turned pink and bouncy. All she did was run around a lot and try to eat everything, but two days later found her back to normal, once she had produced a doggy version of a plort. And that was Mark’s first week. He had learned a bit in that one fun week and was ready to have a better second week.  
“Chica, don’t eat that!” Mark snatched Chica up and stopped her from eating the pink plort. “I need that!”  
Chica whined and kept trying to bite at the plort. “No Chica-bica. You remember what happened last time you ate a plort.” Mark kicked the crytal somewhere else. “I don’t need you all pink and bouncy.”  
Once Chica began chasing a bug, Mark had to go through one of the most tedious parts of slim ranching: plort collecting.  
It was tedious to collect plorts without sucking the slime into his vacpack because there wasn’t a way to filter what he could and couldn’t take in. He had to go in, collect the plorts and the slime, and then shoot the slime back in. Tedious because that was a long and difficult process.  
“No! I don’t want a pink slime!” Mark growled and shot another slime back into the corral. “I just want your poop!” The sorting task was hard, but Mark somewhat enjoyed it since he was able to play with the slimes. “Aw, I can’t be mad at you guys. You’re adorable! Now be good and stay here. I’m going to go suck more of you guys up and put your friends into captivity with you.”  
“Woohoo!” The slimes answered in typical slime fashion and went bac to what they were doing.  
“C’mon Chica! Let’s go capture slimes and cash in their poop for money!” Mark called.  
~LINEBREAK~  
“What is that?” Mark peered down the cliff at the bridge like strcutre connected to another island. “That thing is huge!” He jumped down and crossed the bridge, though this seemed like a bad idea. Mark didn’t really know that the thing was, and if the slimes really did eat everything, then Mark might be in trouble. “Hello buddy. I’m gonna say high to you. You’re big, and are you the master of these things?” Of course, he didn’t receive an answer. The slime just swayed happily, and when Mark got closer, it opened its mouth. “Hello!” Mark said cheerfully. “A Pink Gordo? And I can’t suck you up. Shame. I guess you want food though…um, I’ve got a pogofruit?”  
The Gordo ate it, but nothing happened.  
“Hmm.” Mark shrugged. “Alright. I’ll be back when I have more food. I guess. Let’s go Chica.” IT was getting dark anyways. He had to get back. Not because he was scared, but because he had no idea how slimes acted at night. He never thought to check.  
“Oh,” Mark breathed. “What are you?”  
Purple slimes with tiny wings and glowing centers were hovering in the air, with the same goofy smile as the other slimes. Then, there were light gray slimes with slimy ears and a little tails. “My god you guys are adorable!” He said to the kitty-like slimes. “Tabby slimes? How cute! Right Chica-no! Don’t eat that!”  
Again, Mark had to stop Chica from eating a stray plort, else Chica would start flying and glowing.  
“And what are you?” Mark ran over to a pink flying slime that was swaying as it floated in the air. “Ah, a Pink Phosphor Largo. I want one!” He tried to put it in his vacpack, but it didn’t fit. Instead, he ended up shooting it into a rock. The slime just when “Whee!” and started floating again.  
“And what do we have here?! Pink cat slimes?” He held one at the edge of his vacgun. “You are so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, it’s just the cutest!” Mark was going to die from cuteness overload. How could people not have known about these? Did they only come out at night? And how did he take one back to his ranch? “It’s too cute,” he giggled. “Ah! I got booped!” He gathered a tabby slime and a phosphor slime, ready to take them back when the slimes began to scream. Like, a scream of terror.  
“What the, oh. Oh no.”  
There was odd tar-like creatures eating the slimes!  
“Hey! You get away from Chica!” Mark sucked the one that was trying to eat Chica onto the nozzle of his gun and shot it away. “Let’s get out of here!”  
…  
“Wait, let’s collect a few more of these!” Mark quickly ran back in and collected another Tabby Slime and two more Phosphor slimes. “Okay, now let’s leave!”  
Chica followed Mark as he ran back towards home.  
~LINEBREAK~  
“We made it,” Mark panted, collapsing by his corral. “We made it Chica…and we got new slime!”  
That sounded weird to his own ears and he knew it, but he could care less. He had just escaped death and that was all he cared for!  
“Alright, so let’s put the Tabby Slimes in here,” Mark said to himself as he deposited his slimes. “And I guess I can build another corral to…hey, what are you doing out here?” Mark questioned the Pink Phosphor Largo. “You get in here.” He put it into his newly built corral with the other Phosphor slimes. “Aw man! They mated already and made a butt baby! Great. And how am I supposed to keep you guys from flying away?” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Okay, I’ll figure this out later. Right now, I’m going back out to explore. You guys stop trying to escape. I’m lookin’ at you Pink Slimes!” He whipped around to glare at the pink blobs, but he couldn’t stay that mad at them.  
“Okay, so now I’m looking for more fruit, and chickens.” The tree in his yard wasn’t going to be in bloom for a while. “I guess I can go feed that Gordo thing. And try and find a new slime…ugh! So much to do!”  
As he walked, Mark collected mainly plorts and animals he found on the way. The Gordo wasn’t that far of a walk, and he could explore the slime a bit further. Chica had followed after him, chasing away the Largo slimes that came too close. Not too many, since most were pre-occupied with eating, but the Rock Largos were trouble.  
“Alright, I brought you more food.” Mark began shooting food into the Gordo’s open mouth, watching as it happily ate. He kept shooting until the Largo’s eyes grew huge and he exploded.  
“OH NO I KILLED I-oh hey! Look at this!” Mark found a slime key on the ground. “Cool! A slime key! I can use this on that weird door!” Why a random door in an environment such as this existed, Mark didn’t know, but he wasn’t going to question this. It was a thing that happened, and Mark never questioned when things happened. He just went and did things without asking questions. Why? Because…well, his job was to farm shit and cash it in. Clearly, Mark was in no position to question how anything worked, nor could he question any of his life choices thus far. Mark hummed happily and turned, walking back the way he came when it happened.  
He tripped.  
And clumsy Mark went toppling down into a grove that was down a hidden path he didn't see. Chica barked after her master and ran after him.  
"Oww," Mark groaned, rubbing his head. "Well, that wasn't smart."  
He sat up and looked around. The grass was vibrant green, there was a pond of clear blue water, and everywhere he looked, there were slimes, some he didn't meet on the main path.  
"Whoa...you guys are all adorable!"  
He stood on his feet and glanced around the grove again when something soft and jiggly hit him in the face. "What the-"  
"Boop!"  
Mark jumped. "What was that?"  
From his side, Chica began to growl. Mark followed her gaze to an adorable little brown slime, smiling up at him.  
"Oh!" Mark breathed, gently picking up the slime. "You're just a cutie."  
The little slime headbutted him, hitting him right in the nose. "Boop!" He squealed.  
"I am literally going to die from how cute you are." Mark grinned, looking around. "Are there more of you?"  
He spotted some, but...well, there was something different about the others. They all looked bigger and plumper than this one, and they looked like they were a different color too!  
"You must be an odd one out," Mark said to his little slime. "But that's okay. I know what it's like to be different. And different is much better than normal. You're a special little slime and I'll take care of you." He looked over his little slime and hummed. "But you need a name...hmm...How about...I got it! I'll call you Tiny Slime Tim!" He looked down at Chica. "How about it Chica-bica? How does Tiny Slime Tim sound?"  
Chica panted, wagging her tail.  
"I affectionately take that as agreement. Well alright then. Come on Tim!"  
The little slime smiled up at him as Mark and Chica walked off.  
~LINEBREAK~  
As Mark approached the main island once again, he was surprised to see a man launching slimes off the cliff! How cruel was that?! Mark had figured out that slimes couldn’t swim, so this guy was basically killing them, and as a slime rancher, it was Mark’s job to stop him!  
“HEY!” Mark shouted, sprinting towards the man. “Who’re you and why’d you do that?!”


	2. Meet Jack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys! I messed up and accidentally posted chapter four when I was supposed to post chapter two. So instead, I'm just going to go ahead and post all three! All spelling and grammar mistakes are mine to make, so I'm sorry if they are numerous in number. I have no editor yet.

Pink slimes! You never trust those slippery bastards!”  
This is Jack.  
Well, actually, his name is Sean, but he goes by Jack for…reasons. Personal reasons. But who cares right now. This isn’t what we’re talking about right now. We’re introducing Jack.  
Jack is a slime rancher, and he’s going on his fourth month. He’s been slime ranching for three and a half weeks.  
You see, Jack was what you could call a slime conservationist. After a global program came out explaining the discovery of slimes, a muckraker journalist went undercover and exposed the cruelty of people who tried to force slimes to produce plorts. Jack was horrified by what he saw. When there was a sign-up for those interested in being slime ranchers, Jack signed up for two reasons.  
One: he couldn’t let people act so cruelly to slimes.  
Two: He found the slimes fucking adorable.  
Three months and four days ago, Jack had been interviewed to see if he was qualified. Well, he was slightly over qualified considering that he had plenty of jobs experience with other animals. How hard could slime be? That was Jack’s thoughts going into ranching slimes.  
The first day on his job, his employers were impressed with Jack’s progress. Barely any mistakes, quick farming, and he had already explored a large portion of the surrounding area of his ranch. On his first trip out, he captured thirty-seven slimes, collected food and vegetables, and had already received twenty-eight plorts, giving him 196 credits almost immediately. Then, he bought another corral to hold even more slimes.  
Shortly after that, Jack captured two different slime types: Tabby Slimes and Rock Slimes, both of which could produce valuable plorts. Jack had immediately captured a few to farm those. Soon, he was receiving rock and tabby plorts. His employers were happy with his progress, and all on the first day. That night, Jack captured Phosphor slimes, and along with his Tabby Slimes, Jack brought those back to his farm.  
You could say that Jack became successful in his new profession very quickly. He upgraded his gun, his jetpack, and created more corrals. He had enough common slimes to make a business with just those. However, there was a problem with his ranch.  
Jack bred rock with pink, tabby with pink, and accidentally bred a rock with a tabby. All his Phosphor slimes died the next morning (they didn’t survive at night, only during the day). With the number of slimes escaping, Jack set out to build higher walls with the slimes he had, but it was repetitive slimes. He had so many of the same slimes that he was only cashing in the same plorts. And that’s where his flaw was.  
Unlike Mark (who Jack would meet in three months) who quickly discovered exotic slimes during his first week, Jack thought if he started small, he’d be more successful. He had three corrals and was steadily raising an income. However, scientists had already figured that there were other slimes, and were upset that Jack hadn’t gone out and found them yet.  
Then, in a mistake he hadn’t even predicted, he accidentally created six Tarr slimes that devoured almost all of his slimes, which put a big dent in his income. What was Jack to do?  
Well, he was supposed to explore more of course.  
Jack hadn’t gone that far into the world, so of course he’d only have common slimes. And collecting more would take some time, time he had more than enough of. Breeding was accidental at first, but soon enough, Jack was able to combine. But the market (greedy rich bastards who ran society really) demanded different slime plorts. Jack had no choice but to compile, or else he’d lose his jobs and he would have no clue who’d be the next slime rancher and how they’d act so Jack had to work fast.  
Jack had a bad day out exploring farther.  
Apparently, there was an island of slimes that one wasn’t supposed to visit. Jack didn’t know that until a fateful day where he was fleeing from the Tarr. He crossed a bridge and ended up on an abandoned piece of land. There was a sign up, but Jack paid it no mind. He wandered only a few steps when the slimes attacked. They bit at him and tackled him until Jack could barely see straight. How he ended up back home was a mystery to himself to this day. All he knew was that when he awoke the next afternoon after having slept for so long, he shot up in bed, and screamed, “FUCK!”  
And when he checked back on his farm, his slimes were hungry and six were missing. Jack lost all his plorts, food, and everything else he had collected. When he went back the next day for vengeance, Jack realized that those slimes only appeared at night, and that during the day, normal slimes (save for Phosphor) acted normally during the day. Also, the slimes did not have a craving for human flesh either, even though they did eat everything.  
Let’s fast forward.  
Jack upgraded his corrals to where he had higher walls, an air net, an auto-feeder and a plort collector, and a dim shade. It was useful, but just for the same basics slimes he had. Which was bad for his job. The only reason he hadn’t been fired was because he was bringing in a lot of income even though it was from the same material.  
“Eat this fruit and shite out plorts please,” Jack said to the slimes as he shot pogofruit into a corral. He watched as the slimes wiggled towards the fruit and began to devour it. “Geez. You guys eat _everything_.” You’d think after three months, he’d be used to it, but he was still surprised at slime digestion.  
One of them even ate one of his favorite hats.  
But Jack couldn’t be mad at them. His job was based off of them making plorts, and they were just so happy and cute that Jack couldn’t stay mad for longer than three seconds. He was grossed out with the creation of hybrids, and when the slimes accidentally (well, Jack accidentally didn’t supervise their plort eating) ate plorts Jack was trying to collect, he was upset for…three minute tops. But then the slimes would giggle and squeal, and they were so happy that Jack was really happy.  
“Great. That stupid tabby cat _keeps escaping!_ ”  
Jack chased down the rebellious tabby that happened to always escape no matter what he did. It was annoying, but the tabby always ended by his house, so Jack was contemplating as just keeping it as a pet. And it was the same Tabby. The one with slightly darker accents on it and a rounder body. He could only guess that this slime was still fairly young, which was why it was oddly shaped.  
“Damn you,” Jack growled playfully as he picked up the Tabby with his hands. It was warm and slightly gooey in his hands, and the little thing’s body was constantly vibrating as it purred. The Tabby Slime was swaying in his hands making the most adorable face at him.  
“Geez! I hate you adorable little abominations!” Jack cooed, rubbing his cheek against the Tabby. “You’re so cute but troublesome!” He tossed the cute little thing into the air, hearing it squeal “Woohoo!” as it flew into the air. It giggled when it landed back in Jack’s arms.  
“You know what? I think I’ll call you…I’ll call you Jerry! Do you like the name Jerry?” Jack asked as he tossed the slime into the air again.  
“Woohoo!” The slime swayed happily as it tumbled back into his arms.  
“Jerry it is! C’mon Jerry! Let’s go find more of you!”  
Since he had no place to put Jerry, the little slime sat atop his head. Jerry swayed from side to side, dangerously close to falling off his head, but amazingly, Jerry sat still, not bouncing much, and just letting off a squeal every now and then. Jack periodically checked to see if Jerry was okay, but the little slime just giggled at him, so Jack knew he was fine. Every time he heard a giggle, he would be assured that Jerry was okay.  
A few minutes found Jack in another area, surrounded by slime. However, to his dismay, there were more common slimes. Even the Largos were the same breeds. The only interesting combination was a Rock Tabby, but Jack knew that when he got back to his ranch, that combination might be there depending on if his auto-feeder went off. So that was out.  
“Damn it,” Jack growled. “How the hell am I supposed to get more money from these little poops?!”  
Jerry bounced a little on his head. If it was a way to comfort him, it wasn’t working…at least, in its entirety.  
“Sorry Jerry. I’m just a little frustrated.” Jack wanted to run a hand through his hair like he usually did when he was upset, but he couldn’t because he would risk knocking Jerry off his head, and then chasing him down would be a pain. Jack wasn’t racism, but all the Tabby Slimes looked just alike.  
He was caught up in his frustration that he didn’t look behind him. If he did, he would have been able to pick up the Rock plorts before the Tabby Largos ate them. Then, he would have prevented the formation of Tarr monsters. But he was so frustrated with the fact that he wasn’t making the money he was supposed to even though he’d been at this for three months. Yet his employers figured that he wasn’t doing as he was supposed to.  
“What now?” Jack groaned to himself. “All I can really think of is-HEY!” Jack kicked a Tarr away, one that was trying to gnaw on his foot. “Get off me ya bastards! Get away!” He sucked one onto the nozzle of his gun and shot it into the water. “There. Serves you fuckers right. Hey! You!” He sucked another one on. “Stop it! Stop it right now!” The third one he held on the nozzle bit him, which hurt like a bitch, but Jack was trying to save the rest of the slimes.  
“Geez! Who’d want to take those bastards home and harvest their plorts?!”  
“Hey! Who’re you and why’d you do that?!”  
Jack turned, seeing a male about his age, maybe older, running up to him, followed closely by a little dog that looked oddly blue…and spikey.  
“Who’re you?” Jack asked in return. “And are you even authorized to be out here? I have legal permission to kick out any suspicious characters if I think they’re going to disturb my ranch.” Jack narrowed his eyes. “Don’t make this difficult for yourself.”  
“Wait, you’re a slime rancher?!” The man almost yelled. “Well so am I! See!” The man held up his badge, the same official badge that Jack had in his pocket. “Weird, I didn’t think there’d be that many of us. Nice to meet you.” He held out his hand. “Fischbach. Mark Fischbach; professional slime rancher! Well, I’ve actually only been at this for about a week now, but I’m getting there!”   
He looked hopefully at Jack.  
“Se-Jack. Call me Jack. Semi-professional slime rancher. I’ve been doing this for about three months and some change,” Jack said flatly. He didn’t trust Mark. Not because the man was too open, but because…well, Mark had only been here a week. Mark said he was a slime rancher, but his badge could have been fake. That was a thing. Secondly, there was a chance Mark said he was a slime rancher, but he was really keeping plorts for himself. And third, which was the worst thing of all:  
Mark was another slime rancher.  
Now, while Mark was a rookie, there was still competition out there. Jack had been promised that he was the only slime rancher, and would be the only slime rancher until there were slimemaniterian laws in place (Jack found himself with a lot of new words in his vocabulary recently) that prevented people from causing trouble and forcing the slimes to make plorts. Until then, this was the only source of Jack’s income. If he lost this, he’d have to go back home, back to that crappy old job he had to work at, back at his crappy apartment he had to live in because his parents…  
“JACK!”  
Jack jumped, starling Jerry, who released a little ‘ohh’ as he made a little bounce on top of Jack’s head. “What is it FIschbach?”  
“Mark.”  
“Fischbach.”  
“My name’s Mark though.”  
“I’ll either call you Fischbach, or call you Stranger. You pick.”  
“…Anyways, I was asking if you ever ate a plort.”  
Jack gave him a dumb look. “Ate…a plort?” Jack repeated slowly. “Fischbach, why would anyone ever eat a plort? They’re hard as shit, pointy, and would probably tear your insides to shreds.” Great. The only other slime rancher out here was an idiot.  
“Well…” Mark shrugged. “I mean, they are small enough, so I guess you could. But I asked because.” He picked up his dog. “Chica ate a Rock plort earlier and she keeps ramming her head into me. It hurts!”  
As if to prove his point, Chica wriggled out of his arms and tackled Jack, sharp points digging into his stomach. Jack lost his footing, and some of his breath, and fell to the rough ground, Jerry letting out a loud ‘ohh’ as he fell.   
“Chica!” Mark chided. “I’m so sorry,” he apologized as he helped Jack up. “Like I said, Chica ate a rock plort and now she acts like a Rock Slime.”  
“’S fine,” Jack grumbled. “Anyways, you said you’ve only been a slime rancher for a week?”  
Mark nodded. “Mmmhmm! I have a few slimes back home. I have Pinks, and Tabbys and Phosphors and Rocks all back home. And I found a new path! Well, I found a slime key, but I have no idea what lies beyond that door. I was going to go put the key in and then this happened.”  
 _‘He found a slime key? In a week?’_ Jack had been looking ever since he found that western door. He had no idea where to even being looking. “Oh!” Jack said with fake sincereness. “That’s…that’s great.”  
“Isn’t it? But I have a little problem. See, well, I’m already having a problem with keeping my ranch together. A few of my slimes are already escaping, and a few of my Phosphors either escaped or died. Do you have any advice?”  
It then hit Jack what the solution was. A simple solution really. All he had to do was pretend he was giving Mark good advice. He could sabotage him. He could force Mark to be the worst slime rancher ever, force him to leave the planet, and go back to Earth. And Jack could steal his slime key, discover new slimes, and become the best slime rancher. It was so simple it almost hurt.  
In fact, it did hurt. Mark was…well, even though he looked older and stronger, was open and friendly and didn’t lose that stupidly goofy smile from his face. He was like a child, and even had that childlike innocence about him. Mark was a little ball of goofiness and seemed genuine enough…  
“My farm is over that bridge to the left,” Jack said. “It’s not that big, but it functions. I’ve been keeping it functioning at least. You should come by some time. I could show you how well I’ve been progressing.”  
But Mark wasn’t paying attention. He was too busy coddling Jerry and nuzzling the little slime. “He’s so cute! He’s the cutest little Tabby Slime I’ve ever seen!” He began squishing Jerry’s sides, making the little slime giggle. “He’s so fat and jiggly! Where did you find him?”  
“Who? Jerry? I caught him. I think he’s a younger one. He is cute though, which is why I’m not mad when he escapes his corral.”  
“Well, the only slime I have as a pet is this Honey Slime. He’s tiny too! I call him Tiny Slime Tim. He’s an adorable little poop and he tastes like honey! Not that I licked him or anything. I was exploring after I got the slime key and I found them. And I tried to catch Tim but he kept escaping. Then the little guy booped me and he hit my mouth and I swallowed and-“ Mark scratched his head, blushing. “That sounded dirty. I’m sorry, I’m not good with words today.”  
Jack silently growled. A Honey Slime? Where did he even find that and how?! Freakin’ Honey Slimes?! “It’s fine. I’m not good with words that much either. But, how did you even find a Honey Slime? And what is getting booped?”  
“I found lots of ‘em! There was this little grove I found when I was exploring the other day and I found a bunch of them! And I took em back to my ranch and that’s when the whole fiasco with Tim happened. That actually happened a bit earlier. And getting booped…” Playfully, Mark smushed Jack’s nose with a single finger, gently though. “That’s getting booped.”  
Jack willed himself not to blush. “R-Right. Anyways, the Honey Slime?”  
“Oh! Right. I’m taking the ones I found back home, so maybe you can tag along and I’ll show you where I found them,” Mark offered.   
“Maybe another time,” Jack declined. “I’ve still got my own slimes to look after and I have to go…restock my auto-feeder and all.”  
“Oh.” Mark seemed to deflate a bit. “Well, okay. But, tomorrow maybe? I could really use some tips.”  
“Sure,” Jack agreed, though only half-heartedly. But if Mark caught it, he didn’t say anything.  
“Great! See ya tomorrow Jack! C’mon Chica. Tiny Slime Tim. Let’s get ba-Chica! Leave Jerry alone!”  
After he wrangled Chica away from Jerry and chased down Tiny Slime Tim, Mark flew away with his jetpack.  
“Fuckin’ Mark and his fuckin’ jetpack and his fuckin’ Honey Slimes and stupid  
~Marks’ Ranch~  
“What are you doing out you bitch?!” Mark yelled almost immediately upon his return to his ranch. “Get back here!”  
The pink slimes and the Tabby Largos were all over the place, bouncing around and bouncing off of rocks, even off his house. And there were a few Rock Largos rolling around as well, rolling out of his farm in fact, but Mark wasn’t going to chase them down. Too dangerous. Chica barked happily and began to do the same as the ones who remained, rolling into Mark’s legs.  
“Ow! Chica!” Mark rubbed his ankle. “You go play. I’ll be back.”  
Mark ran, chasing after the escaped slimes. It was an effort though, since he had to get rid of the food he had gone off to collect. He ended up having to deposit his Hen Hens into the Tabby pen, his pogofruit into his Honey Pen, and deposited the stray Honey plorts he found into the plort machine. “Thirty credits! What the balls?! Those little poops give me so much money!” Mark exclaimed. “Wow. I _have_ to breed those with the Rock Ones! Or something! But-hey! My harvest! I need that!” Mark yelled, running over to his little garden where he had a pogofruit tree in bloom. “Stop it! Get out of here!”  
He started shooting Pink Slime away from his ranch, huffing. “There. Stay there.” Then he turned to his corral and put his hands on his hips. “Okay, you’re all fed, so I guess I can go exploring. Chica!”  
Chica came trotting over to him, looking normal and happy. Mark looked at her stangely. “Chica? You’re back to normal…which means you dropped a doggy plort. But where?”  
Chica just barked.   
“Chica, did you plort on my bed?”  
“Arf!”  
“Chicaa…”  
“Arf!”  
Mark sighed. Okay, change his sheets first, open that slime door later.  
~Jack’s Ranch, nightfall~  
Jack sighed, collapsing on his bed. “What a day…”  
His return home was hectic. A slime or two must have escape from their pens again and made another Tarr. Luckily, it was only one Tarr, and Jack didn’t lose that many slimes. But, they were all hungry and a bit bouncier than usual. That was an issue because a few almost went too far off his ranch. HE had to run around and wrangle those. After that, since he couldn’t let Mark one-up him, Jack bought a jetpack, which was a crushing disappointment. Mark had made it look so much cooler…  
Then, after that waste of time, Jack bought another atuo-feeder for his other corral for his Pink Rock Largos and got attacked trying to get in and collect their plorts (since his plort collector was timed and he needed money now after all his upgrades). After that, he fed Jerry and just collapsed.  
“Mark,” he sighed. “That bastard. Only a week out here and he has better slimes then me.” Jack sat up. “What do I care?! It’s beginner’s luck anyways! Stupid fucker.”  
Jack groaned as his computer screen began flashing. A video call from his bosses. That couldn’t be good.  
Sighing, Jack sat at his desk and accepted the call. “This is Seán William McLoughlin.”  
 **“Ah yes. Good evening Seán. How are you faring?”**  
“As well as I can I guess.” He cringed at the name Seán. He hated being called that after what happened. “What can I do for you?”  
 **“Many things Seán. Recently, we’ve been receiving plorts from another rancher, one Mark Edward Fischbach. Surprisingly enough, we’ve received new types of plorts. Honey, Boom, and a few Phosphors as well. All which fetch high prices.”**  
“Uh-huh,” Jack said slowly, not liking the way this conversation was going.  
 **“I’ll cut right to the chase. We’re disappointed in you Seán. We sent you out there almost four months ago. Four. Mr. Fischbach has been out there for only a week. And yet, he’s received over 1500 credits from his percentage of the slime plorts he turned in.”**  
Jack barely stopped his jaw from dropping. 1500? From today?! That was unreal. It took Jack a few days to get half of that together, and in a week, Mark did more than that? Mark did better than him? “Go on.”  
 **“Seán, if you can’t get your act together and quit fooling around, we’ll fire you from this business and ship you back. You’re a grown man, and you’d better start acting like one. Don’t let some rookie exceed our expectations, and don’t let him outclass you. We gave you this job for a reason, and you’d better start working harder. Do you understand Seán?”**  
Hearing that brought back memories. And not good ones. It brought him memories of yelling, glass shattering, hospitals, broken bones, rain, cold, pain, pain, pain pain pain pain pain pain…  
 _“You’re a grown man Seán!”  
“Act like it. This is childish.”  
“This stupid phase should be over with!”  
“What did you just say to me?!”  
“You’re an abomination Seán.”  
“Get out! I won’t have something like you polluting our home.”  
“Someone like you is worthless. Get out and never come back, understand Seán?”_  
 **“Mr. McLoughlin? Mr. McLoughlin? Seán? Seán!”**  
“I understand,” Jack growled out. “And my name is Jack.” He slammed his laptop closed, growling. “FUCKIN’ MARK!” He screamed once he was alone.  
He couldn’t go back to Earth. He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to face his parents, who told him this was stupid. He didn’t want to face his sister, who told him he was a failure. He didn’t want to face his ex, who basically ruined him all over social media. He didn’t want to face Felix and hear him brag about Mark’s progress (Felix had told him before about his friend ‘Markimoo’ who was asking him about job offers. Felix wanted to know if Mark could get a job with Jack, and Jack said no. He didn’t know how he knew Felix, yet never met Mark before today). He didn’t even want to face Mark tomorrow, and let Mark see how pathetic his farm was for being a ‘semi-professional’ rancher. He didn’t want to go see how Mark’s farm was flourishing.  
Mark’s farm…  
Jack shouldn’t. It was a bad idea. A horrible idea in fact. But his job depended on it. But didn’t Mark’s too? Wait, why did he care about Mark? The other was just going to ruin the slime business for him. Screw him, and screw his farm!  
 _‘I know what I have to do. Mark, I hate to have to do this to you, but I need this job.’_ He narrowed his eyes, picking up his vacpack.  
It was time to get to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there was chapter two! Thank you guys for tuning in! BTW, if you caught it, Tiny Slime Tim is a reference to Mark's little biscuit Tiny Box Tim. And Jerry...I think Jack randomly named a creature Jerry in one of his videos. I can't be sure, but I know that Jerry is a significant name for Jack. If someone can help me, thank you. And no, Jerry is not that annoying monster from Undertale. That wasn't it.


	3. Sabotage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack decides to go over to Mark's farm and start some trouble. All while fighting growing attraction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THough I probably didn't characterize them right, this chapter features the gorgeous Danny Sexbang and the awesome Pewds!

The first thing Jack thought when he saw Mark’s ranch was ‘fuck’.  
Not because Mark had better slimes than him, but because he found out just how big it was. It only took a bit of exploring to find the overgrowth and the grotto, one place where Phosphor slimes could flourish, and the grotto was where Mark could grow just about anything. He already had a corral in the grotto where there were a few Phosphor slimes giggling around. There was already a pogofruit tree in the yard as well, in full bloom.  
Now, Jack bought an expansion, but it didn’t help him with his Phosphor problem. Neither did anything he did. But he couldn’t be like Mark and progress as well as he did, and his job depended on this. He decided that he wouldn’t force Mark out of a job, but he could impede Mark’s progress. That was it. That way, he and Mark had a job, but Jack would be a step ahead.  
Yep. Simple plan, simple solution.  
Sneaking in was easier than Jack thought. He literally walked through the gates and stepped in. Of course, there was the problem of Chica. Chica saw him and began barking, but whether it was happy or angry was yet to be desired. Jack guessed anger though considering that Chica looked pissed. The only problem that prevented Jack from hiding was that the light to Mark’s house came on after a few minutes. Jack was quick to suck her into his vacpack.  
…  
What? She was making too much noise! Jack needed to enter quietly.  
When Chica was silenced, Jack looked around at what he had to work with. Mark had a chicken coop and well as a garden. Without the both of those, his slimes would be hungry and rowdy. More likely to escape as well. Escape out of his farm and somewhere else…  
Jack shrugged. Less food for Mark, more for Jack. And with that, Jack set to work, gathering up at least 30 pieces of ripe pogofruit, all the baby chicks in the coop, and took a Honey Slime for himself. Jack wouldn’t realize for another day or two that he actually stole Tiny Slime Tim from the farm, and it would really put Mark at a setback.  
Once Jack was finished, he grinned back at Mark’s House and made his way to his own farm. He had plenty of hungry slimes to feed.  
~Jack’s Farm, Next Morning~  
“Eat!”  
…  
“Eat damn it!”  
…  
“Eat the fookin’ plort ya bastard!”  
However, the Tabby Slime kept hitting the wall of his pen, trying to get out and ignoring the plort sitting right beside it. He took one look at it and slammed his head against the wall, more concerned with trying to escape than trying to eat the plort that remained. And Jack wasn’t going to feed it anything else until it ate the damn rock plort.  
“Eat the plort damn you!”  
The Tabby looked at him and grinned its kitty smile, wandering around his pen and again, ignoring the plort sitting in the pen, the only edible thing inside his pen.  
“Damn it. Fine. Here. Have meat you little bastard.” Jack shot what he thought was meat into the pen, but got the shock of his life when Chica popped out, rolling a little bit before sitting on her butt and shaking her head. She sneezed and stared down the Tabby, who stared at her hungrily.  
“Oh fook,” Jack growled. “Damn it. Uh…Chi-Cha-Chu-Chica! Her name is Chica!” He began to whistle. “Come here Chica...chu?” Is that what Mark called her? Wasn’t it Chica-chu or something like that? That didn’t sound right, but Jack hadn’t been paying that much attention.  
“Get outta there!” He ran into the pen and swiped Chica before his Tabby could eat her. Chica wriggled in his arms and whined. She turned in his arms and growled at him, snapping at his arms. He maneuvered awkwardly to avoid getting bitten, while the little Tabby kept jumping up to try and eat Chica. But Jack was more concerned with the fact that he was dealing with a dog now instead of another slime. He just sighed. “This is a load of bullshit. I forgot to give you back!”   
Chica whined again. Jack thought it was a whine of missing Mark, but it wasn’t. It was a whine of a certain need.  
“EWW!” Jack spluttered as Chica began peeing on him. He dropped her, right back into the pen, where she ended up peeing on the Tabby slime.  
“Gross! Stop that Chica-chu!”  
Chica kicked dirt on the Tabby slime and padded out the corral, sitting at his feet and staring up at him. Jack put a hand to his head and sighed. Sabotage was such hard work.  
~Mark’s Farm~  
“Weird.” Mark scratched his head. “I could have sworn my tree was in full bloom. And there’s no way my slimes could have gotten out, so I know that they didn’t eat it. But then, who did?”   
He put his hands on his hips and smiled fondly. “Wait a minute. It had to have been Chica. Silly dog.” He looked around. “Chica, did you eat the fruit?” However, he couldn’t find his dog anywhere. In fact, he hadn’t seen her at all this morning. He’d assume that she was in the house, but she wasn’t. And she knew better than to wander off…  
Didn’t she?  
“Chica? Chica! This isn’t a game Chica-bica! Where are you?!”  
But Chica didn’t come running.  
“No,” Mark whispered. “Chica…”  
He ran over to his Honey slime pen. “Tim, we’ve got to find-TINY SLIME TIM!!!”  
The adorable little Honey wasn’t there anymore. The other five were there, but he couldn’t find his little honey biscuit.  
They were both gone.  
~The Next Day~  
“Don’t be a baby. Just go find him, give him his dog back, and walk away,” Jack recited to himself. He held his gun in shaking hands. He felt bad for taking Chica-chu from Mark. He didn’t even mean to! He just needed her to be quiet for a minute! That was all it was! But now he had a pup that wouldn’t stop barking and he had a really bad pit in his stomach.  
“Alright Chica. Let’s go find Mark.”  
The little dog barked from the chamber of his vackgun, but whether or not it was angry or upset, Jack didn’t know. All he knew was that he had a very angry puppy that he had to take back to an amateur slime rancher who was going to kill him when he found out. Well, maybe Jack could lie and say that Chica snuck out and Jack found her on his morning excursion. That could work, couldn’t it?  
Or maybe he could tell Mark that he was exploring one night and happened to come across Chica and decided to be a good guy and bring her back.  
“Whatever,” Jack grumbled to himself, making the trek.  
Along the way, he mainly picked up fruit and vegetables, and had to run from Rock Largos. The bastards liked rolling into him and it wasn’t cool. As he walked, he noticed that Chica kept trying to escape by clawing at the glass, but it was no use. There was no way she’d be able to break out of there.  
When Jack finally found Mark’s farm, he was shocked to see Mark sitting against the empty pogofruit tree, ignoring the pink slime wiggling around him and ignoring the rock slimes rolling around. Mark was on the phone with someone and seemed visibly upset.  
“I won’t pick back up until I find Chica! She and Tiny Slime Tim wandered off, and I can’t just go about life like I haven’t lost two important people to me!”  
 _“Mark, calm down. Are you sure that you put Tiny Slime Tim back into his…what were they called?”_  
“Corral!”  
 _“Corral. Right. Are you sure? And are you sure Chica was sleep?”_  
“I’m positive Danny! They were both here when I locked up and went to sleep! And they’re gone!” Mark sounded close to hysterics. Or maybe he was already hysteric.  
Jack bit his lip. The right thing to do would be to wait for Mark to finish his call, give him a few minutes to compose himself, and then lie about how he found Chica. The impolite thing would be to go over there and just drop Chica off and run. Well, that was a plan…  
“Danny…I don’t know what to do. I’m all alone out here! I don’t have my friends, and now Chica’s gone! She was the only thing anchoring me to the earth. I’ll go insane if I don’t get her back!”  
The Pink Slime seemed to deflate a bit and nuzzle Mark’s leg. Mark just sighed and stroked the pink slime.   
_“Mark, just take a breath, and go find Chica. It’ll be fine. Then take another breath and do more work on your ranch.”_  
“I guess…I’ll call you back later. I need time to think.”  
“I hope that you find her Markimoo.”  
“Thanks Sexy.” Mark hung up the phone and sighed, putting it away into his pocket. He looked around his farm and sighed. “Alright Pinky Pie. Let’s get to work.”  
 _‘Now or never,’_ Jack thought to himself. He took a deep breath and gripped his gun tightly.  
“Mark?”  
Mark looked up and looked around for a bit before looking at Jack. Quickly, he wiped his eyes, which were red from crying. “U-Uh…hi Jack.”  
“Hi,” Jack replied awkwardly. “Mark, I-“  
“I WASN’T CRYING!” Mark shouted almost immediately, blinking rapidly and wiping his eyes again. “Tough guys don’t cry. I’m manly. I don’t cry!”  
“Of course,” Jack agreed. “Allergy season is a bitch on this planet.”  
Mark chuckled, catching the joke. “Anyways, well, this is my farm. I’ve uh…done some work in my first week. Probably nothing compared to yours, but I tried my hardest. T-The only problem is that my Phosphor Slimes keep getting out and going into the light. A few of them have died and I don’t know how to prevent that.”  
“You have to put up higher walls for them to maneuver with-“  
“I did that!”  
Jack rolled his eyes at being interrupted. “Put up a dim shade if you want to keep some in the light, and buy an air net.”  
“Oh…” Mark looked at a small device on his watch. “How much do those cost? I’ve only got 125 credits left.”  
“It’s a bit expensive,” Jack admitted. “But uh…I came here for a different reason.”  
“Hmm?” Mark looked at him with worried eyes. “Are you okay?”  
“F-Fine but…look, I was out exploring at night and…well…” Jack sighed and crouched, putting his gun close to the ground. He fired the chamber that had Chica in it, making the little dog bark angrily as she tumbled out. The way Mark’s eyes lit up in such happiness that it made Jack’s heart flutter. He was sure Mark’s eyes started sparkling too.  
“CHICA!” Mark screamed, opening his arms. Chica barked happily and ran into his arms. “You naughty pup! I missed you so much! I thought you were gone forever! I had no idea where you went, you were just gone, and I was so afraid you got eaten by a slime during the night! NEVER run off like that again!”  
He was rambling. Jack knew he was rambling. He was just upset that Chica was gone. Jack didn’t really know what that was like. He didn’t feel like that away from his sister because he despised her. His mom and dad didn’t matter to him anymore ever since they disowned him. And he was forced to leave his dogs behind since technically, they belonged to his parents. And his ex-girlfriend basically called him every name in the book and ruined him socially, so there was no well he’d ever miss her. Jack truly had no one.  
“Jack? Are you okay?”  
Jack snapped out of his thoughts when he realized that Mark was staring at him, Chica in his arms. Mark looked concerned, staring into his eyes.  
“You’re crying,” Mark murmured.  
Jack was quick to wipe his eyes. “I wasn’t crying! Allergy season, remember?”  
“You have allergies too?”  
Jack growled, grasping Mark by his shirt. “I. Wasn’t. Crying. Just drop it, alright?”  
“But Jack, if something’s wrong-“  
“Drop it.” This was said with a much more threatening tone.  
Mark nodded quickly. “Okay! Okay!”  
Jack turned away, releasing Mark’s shirt. “Good.”  
Things were awkward for a minute.  
“Uh, Jack? Do you mind giving me a hand? I’ve got a lot to manage and I’m out of fruit and stuff. Do you think you could help me round up the slimes that escaped? I…kinda forgot to feed them and I think Pinky Pie snuck out while we were talking and-“ Mark froze, eyes going wide.  
“Fischbach? What’s up with you?”  
“TINY SLIME TIM!”  
“Tiny-What?”  
“I almost completely forgot! My little biscuit is gone!”  
“MARK!” Jack put his hands on his shoulders. “Calm. Down. Tim is okay.” He only hoped that Mark didn’t ask _how_ exactly Jack knew that.  
“B-But he was my new friend! I liked him! He was cool and he didn’t case as much trouble as the others! He booped me too! I have to find him!”  
“Mark, you still have a ranch to take care of,” Jack reminded. “You can’t just neglect it for one slime. You need to focus on making sure everything here is taken care of before you run off to find a stray slime!”  
“But-“  
“Tim will be fine.” Jack gave a single nod. “I know he will. Look, I’ll help you out here, and then we’ll go find Tim. Together. How does that sound?”  
Was Mark blushing? Jack couldn’t tell.  
~Two Hours Later~  
“WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”  
“Mark, quit foolin’ around!” Jack felt like he was dealing with a five-year-old. With an increased jetpack capacity and a tree on top of a cliff.  
“Sorry. Sorry.” Mark laughed as he landed, letting Chica hop out of his arms. “That was just so much fun! I can’t believe you don’t like your jetpack.”  
“It sucks!” Jack protested. “That thing doesn’t do shit.”  
“It worked for me,” Mark pointed out. “I got all the way to the top of that cliff without a problem.”  
Jack opened his mouth to reply, but found that he couldn’t. “Alright fine. Now where is the grove you found Tim in?”  
Mark pointed. “It was just over that ridge, down this weird path. They were all over the place.”  
Mark hopped over a stray tree branch and turned a corner. Jack followed, all while picking up stray plorts that Mark seemed to neglect. The other male seemed a bit better now that they were on their way to find Tim, but that could have been due to Jack getting booped and hit by more than a few rock and pink slimes. It made Mark happy, and for some reason, Jack was glad that Mark wasn’t as depressed as he was before.   
Soon, Jack and Mark were in the grove, where Jack was surprised at all the slimes here. Some of the slimes exploded, and some were Rock Slimes mixed with Honey Slimes. There were also Tabby Slimes and Pink Slimes all over the place, which was basically paradise for Jack. This was a way for him to gather the slimes he needed from this. He could make a better living from this.  
“This is where the slime magic happens,” Mark announced with his arms spread out. “Wait.” He put his arms down. “That sounds like slime sex. Okay let me rephrase that: this is where different slimes live. I found it totally by accident on purpose!”  
Jack raised an eyebrow. “How do you find something accidentally on purpose?”  
“I’m Mark Edward Fischbach. That just happens to me,” he shrugged. “But anyways, here’s where I found Tiny Slime Tim, and we have to find him! Remember, he’s really small, and he’s happier than most slimes! Let’s go!”  
Jack went to one side of the grove, while Mark explored another, searching through all the slimes. Jack had them wiggle beside one another while he compared sizes. They were all the same size, and generally the same level of happiness, at least from what Jack could see. Mark was just throwing the slimes around, frantically searching for Tiny Slime Tim. Chica wasn’t helping either; she splashed around in the water and barked at every slime that got close to her. It took them about two hours, and the temperature began to rise. Jack took off his hat and wiped his brow.  
“Mark, we’ve been at this for a while. I think we need to search elsewhere,” Jack said, grabbing Mark’s shoulder. “I think we should look somewhere else.”  
“But-But-But…” Mark pouted. “Tim…”  
“Mark, it won’t help to overexert ourselves. We have to take a break and try again.”  
“I guess…” He sighed. “Alright. But…if you want to get some slimes…I guess you can take some. But if one of them is Tim, you have to tell me! Jack, swear to me you’ll tell!”  
“Okay. Okay. Calm down. I swear.” Jack put his hands on Mark’s shoulder. “But you should just sit down for a minute while I gather some slimes. Play with the slimes for a while, okay?”  
Dejectedly, Mark plopped down, where a few slimes immediately swarmed him and began giggling and wiggling, all smiling at him. Mark sighed, but began to pet one, making the Tabby purr and its whole jiggly body vibrate.  
Jack set to work, gathering his own Honey and Boom slimes. His vacpack was empty, which should give him enough space for some slimes. The slimes didn’t protest, simply going ‘oh!’ as they were picked up by the suction of his gun. Jack found a few pinks that he didn’t mind picking up, and ended up with blockage. For some reason, he couldn’t.  
“Huh.”  
“You okay buddy?” Mark called.  
“My gun is fookin’ up,” Jack replied. “Just give me a second.”  
Jack tried again, but was met with the same resistance. Meaning that the four slots in his gun were filled. He checked the screen with details about his gun and saw that there was a slime in his gun that he didn’t pick up (A/N: because Tim is much smaller and different, I had him classified as a different type of slime, even though he isn’t).  
“I don’t remember picking up another slime…” Shrugging, Jack shot the little guy onto the ground, but his eyes widened in horror.  
Smaller than most.  
Happier.  
Missing.  
“TIM!”  
Mark shoved by him and picked up Tim, spinning him around. “MY LITTLE HONEY BISCUIT! I MISSED YOU!” Mark nuzzled Tim, happily squeezing the life out of him. “You naughty little thing! How’d you get…all…the way out here…” He looked up at Jack, then at a spot on the ground, where there was honey. He then looked at Jack’s gun and connected the dots.  
“Jack…you stole Tim?!”  
“No! I would never!”  
“Then why was he shot out of your gun?!”  
“I don’t know!”  
“You stole my little biscuit!”   
“No I didn’t!”  
Mark glared at him. “How could you Jack? If you wanted to find a Honey Slime, why didn’t you just ask me to help you find one? You made us do all this work, and for what? Just another pay out?”  
“Mark, I didn’t steal Tim!”  
“Then explain this. Now!” Mark sat Tim atop his head and held Chica in his arms. “Why did you steal Tim?”  
“I didn’t!” Jack shouted. “I didn’t steal your stupid slime! Stop accusing me!”  
“All the facts point to you! Why did you do it?!”  
Jack threw up his hands. “I’m not going to stand here and have you accuse me of something I didn’t do!”  
“I saw it you asshole!”  
“FOOK YOU YA DOUCHEBAG!”  
Mark huffed. “I cannot believe you Jack. I was trying to be a nice guy and trying to get along with you, but you betrayed me. You _stole_ Tiny Slime Tim from me!” He suddenly gasped. “Did you steal Chica too?!”  
“NO!”  
Mark glared. “I thought we were on our way to being friends Jack. And then you do this to me? How could you?”  
“Mark, I didn’t-“  
“Save it!” Mark picked up his gun and got a tighter grip on Chica. “I don’t care anymore. I’m leaving.”  
Jack growled as he watched Mark walk away. He didn’t know why, but he felt angry with himself and angry at his luck. He also felt upset that Mark stormed off the way he did. Then he felt stupid that he lied the whole time. And then hollow that he had lost the only other company he’d have on this planet.  
~Mark’s Farm~  
“He lied to me!” Mark ranted. “He lies to my face and then has the audacity to yell at me for calling him out!”  
 _“Mark.”_  
“Why didn’t he just tell me the truth?! That he stole Chica and Tim?!”  
 _“Mark.”_  
“I tried to be nice to him and that’s what happens! I can’t trust anyone on this stupid planet! Especially another slime rancher! I mean, can you believe that he would do that?!”  
 _“Mark, can you at least try to calm down? I know you’re upset, but all of this could have been an accident,”_ Danny pointed out.  
“What makes you say that?”  
 _“Well, he obviously felt guilty enough to return Chica after this alleged ‘kidnapping’, didn’t he? Wouldn’t he have just kept her for himself?”_  
“Well…”  
 _“And didn’t he seem just a little bit shocked when his gun shot out Tim?”_  
“I mean, he thought his gun was just acting up, but-“  
 _“Then it was an accident. Point blank period.”_  
“Ugggggggggggh! Why do you have to be pretty and smart?”  
 _“I beg your pardon?”_  
“I said, why do you have to be smart and willing to put up with my bullshit?”  
 _“Isn’t that what friends are for?”_  
“Yeah. Sure.”  
 _“Good. Now you need to apologize to this Jack guy, okay?”_  
“Alright. Thanks Hotness.”  
 _“What?”_  
“BYE DANNY!”  
~Jack’s Farm~  
 _“You’re a fucking idiot.”_  
“Thanks for tellin’ me what I already know asshat,” Jack growled into the phone. “I asked you for advice.”  
 _“I gave you the next best thing: the truth.”_  
“Hah hah. I didn’t know you were a comedian.”  
 _“Look, what do you want from me?”_  
“I want ADVICE!”  
 _“Don’t you fucking yell at me! I’m trying to help!”_  
“Fat load of help you are!”  
 _“Fine! I’ll hang up!”_  
“No no no no no!” Jack panicked. “Wait Felix!”  
 _“Yeeeeeeeeeeeees?”_  
“I’m sorry, okay? I’m just confused. Can you help me figure this out? I want to be friend with Mark I guess, but I made him upset and now he’s angry with me.”  
 _“For something that was completely your fault.”_  
“Felix!”  
 _“Based on the facts I was given, that’s all I can conclude.”_  
“Why do you sound so smart all of a sudden?”  
 _“Don’t insult my intelligence! I’m a genius!”_  
Jack groaned. Maybe calling Felix was a bad idea. Maybe he should have tried Ken…  
“Felix, give me some good advice.”  
 _“I think you need to explain the situation to Mark like you did to me: you were out exploring that night when you found Chica had escaped, so you decided to try and take her back when you saw he had closed up for the night and noticed Tim hanging around, so you caught Tim and decided to hang onto him for a while until you could give him back. But you had a long night and forgot, so you didn’t remember that you still had Tim, and that’s why the whole situation happened.”_  
Jack might have stretched the truth a little when he told Felix, but he was embarrassed about his real reasons. That, and Felix might stop talking to him for a while, and he didn’t want to lose one of his friends.  
“You’re right Felix. Thanks man.”  
 _“Anytime Jackaboi.”_  
“Goodnight Pewds.”  
Jack shut the phone and ran a hand through his hair. He was a total liar and he knew it. He wanted to befriend Mark, yet he wanted to send him packing. He wanted to tell Felix the truth, yet he had to lie to prevent Felix from thinking him a bad person for what he was doing. He didn’t want to hurt Mark, yet he had to make profit.  
Jack weighed his options and knew that he was about to make a grievous mistake.  
~The Next Day~  
“And that’s what happened,” Jack explained. “I’m sorry I blew up at ya Mark. I was angry that you accused me for all that stuff when it was an accident. I didn’t mean anything by it.”  
 _‘I’m a horrible person.’_  
Mark smiled apologetically. “I’m sorry too. Maybe I should have listened to you first. Instead of just screaming wildly at you”  
 _‘Mark’s too kind. He doesn’t question this, he just tries to make amends he doesn’t need to make.’_  
“It’s fine. Can we at least try to be friends?”  
 _‘No. you don’t. Turn away Mark.’_  
“Sure. I know that you weren’t trying to hurt me.”  
 _‘So this is what my parents were talking about. I really am a horrible person. They were right to kick me and make me see truth. I really am disgusting.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And as promised, here is chapter three. Four will follow shortly.


	4. Love Explodes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When something happens to Mark, Jack relives the past and also comes to term with how he feels about Mark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Dawnieangel76 for reminding me that I missed the other two chapters before I posted this. It went completely unnoticed so that you for pointing that out. The whole story would have been a little skewered.

Mark, I’d put that down if I were you,” Jack advised. “You’re going to hurt yourself.”  
Mark laughed, tossing the red slime into the air again. “No way! This guy’s adorable! Why would I let him go?”  
“He’s called a Boom Slime for a reason,” Jack pointed out. “And you need to let go, or else you’ll get hurt.”  
Mark rolled his eyes, sitting among a nest of Boom Slimes. They all giggled at him and squealed, oddly refraining from exploding like they did to Jack. “You’re too scary. These little guys are harmless.”  
“They’re called Boom Slimes for a reason,” Jack pointed out. “They go boom! And I would know because it happened to me!”  
Mark just laughed. “They only do that when they’re threatened. And I’m not threatening them. Either that, or they just really like my relationship with Tim.”  
Tim was sitting with a Boom Slime, swaying with him and giggling along with the Boom slime, who stayed dormant the whole time.  
“So I’ll be fine!”  
“Mark, when we came out here, I didn’t come to see you get hurt out here. Those things will hurt you,” Jack warned. ‘And I’d know. I’ve had some bad experiences with them.’  
“Relax you Irish baby,” Mark teased. “I’ve got this.”  
Mark and Jack had been exploring again, when Mark accidentally stumbled down a path that neither of them had ever went down before. Well, stumbled wasn’t the right word.  
Mark tripped, Jack grabbed him to try to steady him, and they both fell down a long winding tunnel until they fell out into a large open area filled with slimes. Mark had immediately gotten up like he wasn’t hurt and shouted out loud at how cute all the new ones were. And like a child, he ran like a madman into a large bunch of slimes, shouting at the tops of his lungs. Instead of being frightened, the red slimes exploded, sending Mark flying into the air. Had he not landed in a Pink Largo, he probably would have died.  
The whole time, Jack had a panic attack.  
“Don’t call me a baby,” Jack protested. “I just don’t want your stupid ass to…do something stupid.”  
“Mark Edward Fischbach doesn’t do stupid!”  
“Oh really? Says the guy who let his dog eat _another_ plort.”  
“This one was an accident! I didn’t even know that Chica had run off again!”  
Jack rolled his eyes. “Seriously Mark, just pick a few of them up, take them back, and have fun back home.”  
Mark pouted. “But Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeean!”  
He flinched. He still wasn’t used to someone saying his real name. Not when the wounds were still fresh. He kind of tolerated Mark doing it, but it still irked him. “Mark. Let’s go.”  
“But Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-“  
Maybe they should have studied more on slimes.  
See, something that was little known in the community was frequency when it came to slimes. There was already talk about how radiation affected slimes, but no one talked about sound frequency. There was only one fact however:  
If a slime was introduced to a frequency of a sound that was too high for them to handle, they’d react violently. In terms of Boom Slimes, they’d explode. And Mark, being his usually bubbly and happy self, whined a bit too loudly for the slimes to handle. The Boom Slimes reacted badly. They cringed in their own slime-like way, lit up, and exploded.  
And Mark was caught in the middle.  
“MARK!” Jack screamed as all the slimes around him, about eight, exploded. All he saw was smoke, no sign of Mark.  
He rushed forward, ignoring whatever danger he was putting himself in and brushed away the smoke. Mark was here somewhere, and Jack had to find him. He tossed the slimes, still groggy from exploding, away from where Mark had been and gasped.  
“M-Mark?”  
He was unconscious, clothes scorched, burn marks all over his face, and just looked like he was in bad shape. Jack really couldn’t tell how badly Mark was hurt, but he needed to get him out of here.  
“Hang on Mark. I’ll get you back to my ranch. It’s closer,” Jack whispered. He gently picked Mark up, not anticipating how heavy Mark was, but shifted him to a more comfortable position. “Let’s go Chica!”  
Chica barked and rolled after him, having eaten the plort of a pink largo. She had become big, round, pink, and bouncy. But it also made her unable to walk properly, so she rolled around. But Jack had other things to worry about. Mark was hurt and needed help.  
~Jack’s Ranch~  
“What the fook do I do?!” Jack screamed into the phone. “Felix, I am freaking out! He’s hurt and I barely know what to do with him! How am I supposed to help him when I have no idea what I’m doing!”  
 _“Jack, first of all, calm the fuck down. Secondly, shut the fuck up. Third of all, listen to Papa Felix and Dr.Crab. He knows all.”_  
“No you fookin’ don’t! You were wrong about that night guard job!”  
 _“…Well…I mean…He made it out just fine! Just…you know, with some mental scaring-WHO’S HELPING WHO HERE?!”_  
“Sorry! Sorry! Just-tell me what to do!”  
 _“Okay. First of all, you need to check and make sure he doesn’t have any bumps or bruises on his head. And if he does, you have to be very careful. That means he might have a concussion.”_  
“Bruises on the head. Yeah. What else?”  
 _“If there’s any salve anywhere, rub that on his burn wounds. All of them.”_  
Jack gulped. His hands were shaking so badly he could barely hold the salve in his hands. He dropped it at least three times before finally getting a grip, but he ended up dropping the cap  
“Fookin’…of all the damn luck. What else?”  
 _“Keep something cold on his forehead. Make sure he’s comfortable and check him every time he moves, tries to speak, or does anything. If he wakes up, don’t let him go back to sleep. And put ice on his head if it got hit.”_  
“Please stay on the phone with me,” Jack pleaded. “At least while I work.”  
 _“Alright. Alright. Keep your pants on.”_  
Jack took a couple of deep breaths and stripped Mark of all his clothes, ignoring his pink mustache boxers, no matter how cute they were. There were burns all over his body that were going to need salve on. Jack squeezed some salve onto his hand and took another breath. “Okay…here we go.”  
Slowly, he began rubbing the salve on all of Mark’s burns, taking care to make sure each wound got a liberal amount of salve. Mark didn’t react, other than the occasional twitch or shift. Jack was worried that Mark might wake up and think Jack was molesting him, but based on what Felix said, Mark didn’t seem to be waking soon. So Jack continued what he was doing, making note of any wounds on Mark that would need to be taken care of later. He was slightly happy to note that there were hardly any, but he was still going to be cautious.  
Once all the salve was rubbed on Mark’s burn wounds, Jack set to work bandaging what needed to be patched up. Mark made an odd noise at one point, causing Jack to look up and check him, but Mark remained unconscious. It worried him, considering that Mark might have a concussion.  
 _“Yo! Jackaboi! You okay?”_  
“I told you not to call me that! And fook you Felix! I’m really worried about ‘im…”  
 _“Jack, pull your potato looking self together and finish checking on your boyfriend.”_  
“He’s not my boyfriend you fookin’ Swedish egg!”  
 _“…that was hurtful.”_  
Jack felt along Mark’s head, feeling no bumps or contusions anywhere, which was good, because it meant that Mark didn’t have a concussion; it just meant that Mark had been taken upward by the explosion, but didn’t take as bad a fall as he could have. All which was good signs. But Mark was still unconscious.  
“Felix, I think I’m done checking him over.”  
 _“Is he awake?”_  
“No. He didn’t wake up and I’m scared something might be wrong.”  
 _“He took a fall Jack; a bad one. Of course he won’t wake up immediately.”_  
“But Felix-“  
 _“Jack, he’s hurt. Just leave him be. And when he wakes up, you can hold him and kiss him and tell him how worried you were.”_  
“…goodbye Felix.”  
 _“Jack wa-“_  
Jack hung up the call and sighed. _‘Felix means well, but now isn’t the time. Mark is hurt and I need to help him.’_  
He fixed the blanket around Mark and changed the towel on his forehead. He also fluffed Mark’s pillow best he could and left some medicine on the dresser, along with a glass of water, before he finally sat down. He placed a hand over his heart and was shocked that it was still racing so much.  
“What the heck?” Why was his heart pounding so much? “Mark is fine now…why am I still so worked up about it?”  
What does it all mean?  
“Mark is my enemy. But…I couldn’t just leave him there…” Jack was thinking out loud. “And…well, he isn’t that bad…”  
 _ **“Seán, if you can’t get your act together and quit fooling around, we’ll fire you from this business and ship you back. You’re a grown man, and you’d better start acting like one. Don’t let some rookie exceed our expectations, and don’t let him outclass you. We gave you this job for a reason, and you’d better start working harder. Do you understand Seán?”**_  
Jack shook his head. “No…Mark is…” _‘He’s…’_  
What was he? A friend? Maybe. After all, Mark was generally good company. He was goofy, but seemed rather intelligent and cared about the slimes they were protecting. He wasn’t in this for the money, nor was he here for the fame.   
Mark was here to do his job, which was studying slimes. Nothing more, nothing less.  
“Could I be wrong?” Jack murmured, staring down at Mark. “Mark…”  
 _~Flashback~  
“Mom, Dad…I-I don’t exactly…I don’t like girls…I would much rather have a boyfriend than a girlfriend. I’d want to have a husband, not a wife. Y’know? I-I just think that I would prefer guys over girls. A-And…” Jack growled, punching the wall beside his mirror. “Damn it! Why is this so hard?!”  
He had been trying for days to come out to his parents, but he wasn’t able to. He was not only scared of rejection, but how they would perceive him afterwards. Sure, they didn’t turn up their nose when they saw homosexual people on the streets or in public, but he knew that they weren’t pleased about it. And they were overly happy when Jack introduced his girlfriend. But…Jack didn’t care for her like she did for him. He just didn’t feel like she was the one for him. And then he realized that he didn’t feel that way because the thought of being with a girl just felt odd to him. He couldn’t do it. Men were just more attractive to him, and he could see himself with a male as he lived his life.  
“Mom, Dad…I love ya both, and I think it’s time I told ya somethin’ that I’d been keepin’ from ya fer so long. I-I um…I don’t like females. I like males. I-I’m gay.”  
But that didn’t sound right to him either.  
“Confidence Jack,” he reminded himself. “Confidence.” He looked at his reflection in the mirror. “Mom. Dad. I’m gay. And I have been for a while. I don’t know why I decided ta date a girl, but I can’t keep this up anymore! I’m gay!”  
There was a gasp from behind him. Jack turned around, eyes widening in horror. “M-Mom? D-Dad?”  
His mother looked utterly horrified, while his father wore an expression that was a mix of disgust and anger written across his face.  
“What did you just say?” His father growled out.  
Jack gulped. This was already heading towards dangerous grounds. “D-D-Dad…I uh…I’m not attracted to girls?” His voice raised in pitch at the end of his statement. He already felt his body inching further and further away from his parents, who were frozen in the doorway themselves. “I’m gay?”  
“No you’re not,” his father hissed.  
“Dad-“  
“No son of ours is gay.”  
Sean honey,” his mother pleaded. “Listen to your father. We know those horrible people you work with corrupted you. You don’t have to be like them to be friends with them.”  
“I knew that Felix was a bad influence. Walking around in high heels, showing off his ass, putting on makeup like it’s a joke.”  
The high heel thing was a dare, the ass thing was Felix, Jack, and Ken having a twerking contest; Jack had just forgotten to delete the video off of his phone and his parents managed to find it. And they began to think the worst of his friends. And the makeup was another dare for Felix. It wasn’t because he was gay, but because Felix never said no to a dare. Jack’s parents refused to let him hang out with Felix for weeks, believing that Felix was infecting him with something.  
“It’s not Felix’s fault!” Jack protested. “I put a lot of thought into this, and it doesn’t seem right for me to be with someone I’m not attracted to. This is a loveless relationship, and I can’t keep lying to her, myself, or to you. Mom, Dad…I’m gay. I’m not attracted to women, and I don’t like I ever will be.”  
His father stared at him for a few moments before speaking. “Is that really how you feel?”  
Jack gulped. His father was too calm. But Jack wasn’t about to let them see how scared he really was. “Yes. I’m done lying.”  
His father nodded once, twice, and then shook his head. Jack wondered what was going to happen next when his father strode across the room and opened the window. Then, he grabbed Jack’s computer off of his desk and threw it out the window, quickly grabbing Jack’s monitor and throwing that out as well. Jack gaped as his stuff hit the concrete and broke into pieces.  
“Dad! What-“  
“I bought that for my son, not some faggot parading around in his clothes.” He tossed Jack’s TV out the window as well. “You don’t deserve any of that sean. I’m highly disappointed.”  
“But-“  
Rough hands grabbed him and shoved him out of his room, pushing him out the hall. “I will not allow you to stay in this household and infecting anyone else around here. Get out, now!”  
“This is insane!” Jack shouted. “Dad-“  
He was shoved again, this time near the stairs. Jack grabbed onto the railing to steady himself.  
“You have no right to call me that! Now get out of my house!”  
“Dad-“  
The next shove sent him down the stairs, hitting his head a few times on the way down. When he hit the bottom, his arm hurt, leading him to believe that he landed on his arm wrong, and so did his head. He wanted to throw up, black out, and cry, but he hurt too much to do any of that.  
“I said: Get. Out.”  
He couldn’t. He couldn’t move at all. His body hurt too much. But he struggled into an upright position and grabbed his arm, trying to scoot to the door. He was truly scared of his parents now. Just because he was gay, he had to leave the house.  
He weakly unlocked the door and crawled outside, into the chilling rain. Something flew over his head and landed in front of him: a suitcase, clothes haphazardly thrown into it. None of Jack’s personal belongings were in there, neither was his wallet or his keys.   
It was all gone. All he had was clothes.  
“Never show your face around here again.”  
~Two Weeks Later~  
 **PrettyChristy tweeted:**  
@Jackaboi I heard your faggot ass got thrown out of your house. How does it feel when people you care about turn their backs on you? I can’t believe someone like you is still alive. Why don’t you go kill yourself faggot?  
@RockinRachel: @PrettyChristy Was Jack really gay? Ew. That’s gross. I feel bad for you. Having a faggot lie to you like that and all. Didn’t he hit third base?  
@Nathan P: @PrettyChristy I let that guy into my house! What if he hit on my little brother or something?!  
@DragonChild: @PrettyChristy @Jackaboi I always knew there was something off about him.   
@SexySuzie: @PrettyChristy @Jackaboi No wonder it always seemed like he had something up his ass!  
Jack watched as more tweets rolled in, all people making fun of him after coming out. “Fookin’ Christy,” Jack growled, throwing his phone against the wall. He used a lot more force than necessary, causing the wall to crack, but he couldn’t care less at this moment. Two weeks and he still couldn’t go out in public. The con of living in such a close-knit community was that everyone knew everything about anyone. Once his parents told the neighbors about him coming out, everyone knew. Most businesses were family-owned, so that spoke a lot about how much luck Jack actually had with finding someone to listen to his story, or to crash with. But, he at least knew a few cool people. So he flew out of his little hometown to the only place he knew he’d be welcome.   
“Jack?” Ken came rushing out the other rom, brandishing a vacuum. “What happened?! Did someone break in?!”  
“No Ken,” Jack sighed. “Christy’s been posting about me on Twitter, and…it hasn’t been good. People are dissing me and making fun of me and some have even been threatening me. Tellin’ me to kill myself an’ all.”  
He’d been crashing with Felix and Ken the past two weeks, doing his best to go out and find a job so he could contribute, but because he had little prior work experience, there were a few places that refused to hire him because they wanted people with at least a year or two or work experience. He hated not being able to do anything to help Felix and Ken, especially since they were being so nice to him when he needed him.  
“That’s rough. Why don’t you just delete Twitter and use something else for social media?” Ken picked up Jack’s discarded phone and put it on the living room table. “Like Instagram or Tumblr or something?”  
Jack picked up his phone and looked. More and more tweets rolled in, so he turned off notifications from everyone and set his phone back down. “I’ll get to that. I actually want to find a job first before I start dicking around.” He snickered. “And uh…why did you grab the vacuum instead of a baseball bat or a knife?”  
“Well…I mean…” he twisted it in his arm. “It’s a vacuum. If you tried to rob someone and they pulled out the vacuum and turned it on…I mean…it’d hurt, wouldn’t it?”  
“If you managed to get them I guess but-“  
Ken thrust the vacuum at him. “Wanna try it and see?”  
“No!” Jack said immediately, jumping off the couch. “Keep that thing away from me!”  
Ken teasingly came towards him, grinning. “Come on. You play the robber; I’ll play the victim.”  
“Stop it Ken! I don’t want to play some sick game you and Felix play in the bedroom!”  
Ken put the vacuum down. “Jack, c’mon. Vacuums have no place in the bedroom.”  
His phone went off again, altering Jack that someone else had actually texted him this time, but it probably something about him being gay again, making Jack sigh.  
Things wouldn’t be normal. Not for a long while.  
~Flashback End~_  
After that, nothing was the same for him. Nothing made sense. He didn’t even try to date after that, too upset. But now, there was a chance he could start something new with someone who seemed to generally care for him for him.  
Yet, Mark didn’t know how much of a bad person he really was. Jack was going to try and steal Mark’s business from under him.  
“I’m so sorry Mark,” he murmured.  
“Hmm? …Jack? I-Is that you?”  
“Mark!” Jack jumped, getting to his feet. “Are you alright? Do you need more blankets? Are you hungry?”  
“Whoa, slow down.” Mark slowly sat up and rubbed his head. “Jack, I don’t even remember what happened. All I remember was finding those Boom Slimes and…”  
Jack wrung his hands. He wanted to check on Mark again, but he knew that he couldn’t. Not until Mark verbally said he needed something. “They blew up around you,” Jack explained. “You hit your head when you fell and you got knocked out. So I carried you back here and tried to help you as best I can.”  
“Really? Damn…wow, I was such a dingus. I should’ve listened to you back there huh?” Mark chuckled nervously. “Well, thank you for that. I mean, anyone else probably wouldn’t have taken care of me. I’m glad you were there.”  
Jack’s cheeks heated. “W-Well, you would’ve done the same, wouldn’t you? I mean, we’re friends and all, and it wouldn’t have been right to just leave ya there.”  
“But again, thank you Jack. I really mean it.” Mark smiled at him.  
Jack turned his head. “Maybe if ya had listened to me in the first place, this wouldn’t have happened. Again, it was called a Boom Slime for a reason. They go boom!”  
“Hey! You collected some!”  
“From a safe distance!” Jack protested. “I wasn’t right in a nest of them!”  
Mark rolled his eyes. “Oh great slime master, don’t you have your own farm to take care of?”  
Jack scoffed. “I have high walls, air nets, dim shades, and auto-feeders. I think my farm will be fine for a few more hours. Besides, you let your dog eat plorts. You’re in no condition to take care of yourself, let alone your farm.”  
“But-“  
“Mark, relax. I’ve been doing this longer than you. I can handle this,” Jack said firmly. “Now lay down and rest ya big doof.”  
“Yes dear,” Mark grumbled sarcastically.   
Jack rolled his eyes and walked outside.  
~Mark’s Farm~  
Jack knew that Mark was in no condition to come outside just yet, so that gave him more than enough invitation to do anything he pleased around the farm. Overall, it wasn’t as advanced as Jack had made his own, but Mark didn’t know what Jack did. That gave him all invitation to start messing things up.  
“Let’s start here,” Jack said to himself, looking at Mark’s pogoberry tree. It was beginning to bloom, but it was obvious that the upgrades Mark could get to boost it weren’t present yet. Jack didn’t have to do much here, but he did pull some of the roots from the ground, making sure that the whole tree couldn’t get the proper nutrients.  
Next, Jack checked out some of the pens. Again, underdeveloped, but easy to manage. Actually, he didn’t need to do much there, since it didn’t look like Mark knew what he was doing. So, all he did was taunt the little slimes, though they didn’t seem to understand. The Rock Largos kept trying to roll into him, but Jack was safe behind the walls. The Tabby Slimes only purred and licked the walls, so Jack didn’t really know what to do there.  
Once he observed everything, Jack realized that Mark could crash and burn on his own. All Jack had to really do was misinform Mark. He already saw how behind Mark really was, it wouldn’t have taken much to ruin him. Instead, Jack secretly took money from Mark and called it a day.  
“I’m back!” Jack announced, walking back into Mark’s home. “Your farm is doing fine Mark. Your slimes were just a little hungry, but nothing that we couldn’t take care of.”  
“What about your farm?” Mark asked. “Shouldn’t you go check on yours?”  
“Not while no one can take care of you,” Jack replied. “I’m not gonna just leave you here to die.”  
“Well, I wouldn’t die per say. Probably just…faint…or something…maybe,” Mark tried. “I’ll be fine one my own for a while. I can wait.” Mark held out a hand and grinned. “For my lovely wife I would wait…I guess.”  
Jack turned red. “Hey. Hey!”  
“What?”  
“I…Okay-I am very pretty.” Jack held a hand to his chest and struck a pose.  
“Then…am I-am I the husband? Or am I the wife?”  
“We could have a man off to see?” Jack suggested.  
Mark snickered, then burst out laughing. Jack realized what he had said and started laughing too. “No wait!” Jack said between chuckles. “Not _that_ kind of man off!”  
“What, should we have a jack off as well?” Mark laughed.  
The two idiots kept laughing at their banter until they were red in the face. Chica had run in and looked at both of them, before she jumped onto Mark, attacking him with doggy kisses. Jack laughed even harder as Chica jumped all over Mark, but he stopped laughing when Chica tackled him, licking him so hard she knocked his hat off. Mark called her away, so Chica sat in the corner chasing a bug.  
“Alright waifu. Go check on your precious farm. But if you’re so worried, go ahead and grab some clothes. You can spend the night and we can have a sleepover.” Mark held up a finger. “I warn you though, I sleep in pink mustache boxers.”  
Jack winked. “I sleep in green boxers.”  
Mark chuckled. “We certainly are a pair. Like Cosmo and Wanda.”  
“Two halves of one whole idiot,” they both chimed, then laughed.  
“I’ll be back Mark,” Jack said over his shoulder.  
~With Jack~  
Once he was far enough away, Jack put his hands over his face and screamed. He wasn’t supposed to be getting along with Mark. He was supposed to be sabotaging him. But he had panicked when Mark had gotten hurt, and his heart was still pounding, even though Mark was obviously okay. And then his flashback to what happened with his parents…it was because of _Mark_. He was thinking of the other male in _those ways.  
Mark was attractive, with the kind of attitude Jack appreciated. His eyes were like melted chocolate, he was just as much as a geek as Jack was, and it was obvious that they got along nicely. Mark was witty and humorous, and him being a giant man-child was almost like how Jack acted sometimes. And with Mark’s personality, Jack felt like he could tell Mark anything. Even about his past. With Mark’s openness, he wouldn’t be ashamed of Mark, or shun him because of it. Mark would still treat him the same.   
It made Jack’s heart hurt.  
 _“For my lovely wife I would wait.”  
“But again, thank you Jack. I really mean it.”  
“I mean, anyone else probably wouldn’t have taken care of me. I’m glad you were there.”_  
Jack scrubbed his eyes. _‘Mark, please stop being so nice to me. I’m not worth it.’__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that things are normal again, I promise chapter five will be in the right place. Thanks for tuning in! See you guys next chapter!


	5. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark and Jack spend some time getting to know one another and discover more about themselves. Jack and Mark also make some revelations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! School + bad time management + writer's block= mass procrastination.

Love Ranchers

And here is chapter five of Love Ranchers. This chapter will explore a little of Mark’s feelings, and the two idiots just having fun with their slimes and being together. Some of this chapter might be dialogue, but it’ll be worth it. And don’t worry; Jack is still in his feelings.

Chapter Five: Together

“I don’t get it. So Garnet is made up of two gems named Ruby and Sapphire?”

“Yeah. She was a fusion all along. But Jasper doesn’t see the point in fusions; to her, it’s just a pointless attempt to get stronger.”

“And Jasper is that weird green one with the triangle head?”

“No! Jasper is the big one with the white hair!”

“T-Th purple one?”

“No! The orange one!”

“This is so confusing! Why can’t we just watch _Attack on Titan_?”

“What?”

Jack gasped, dramatically pausing their _Steven Universe_ marathon and throwing a hand over his eyes. “How _dare_ you? That is one of the greatest anime I have ever seen!”

“Well excuse me Waifu. I don’t watch anime that much. I mean I do, but I haven’t heard of that one.”

“I see. You watch silly cartoons about lesbians, not awesome shows with giant monsters.”

“Hey! They are _not_ all lesbians Waifu.”

“Really? Because a few fusion dances or whatever looked highly erotic fer a kid’s cartoon.”

“It is not a cartoon. It is a masterpiece.”

“Masterpiece my sweet Irish arse. It’s silly. _Attack on Titan_ is a real man’s show.”

“While your Irish ass is nice, I doubt this _‘Attack on Titan’_ is all that.”

“We’ll see Mark. We’ll see.”

~Some Time Later~

“W-Wait…Marco’s…dead? He can’t be dead!”

“Marco’s dead Mark. He’s not alright anymore.”

“…”

“…”

“Jack…did you really just…?”

“I did…I’m so sorry Mark. That was really bad.”

“How dare you?”

“I’m sorry. It just slipped out.”

Mark rolled his eyes, turning back to the TV. “I do admit though, this anime is pretty good. Though I do wish you’d give _Steven Universe_ a better chance. It’s not all about lesbians, which isn’t confirmed, and suggestive fusion dances. There’s a really good plot behind it.”

“I will Mark. But you just threw me into it and didn’t give me a chance to get used to it.”

“It’s a quality show!”

“Would’ve been better if I had time to get used to it.” Jack yawned, rubbing his eyes. “What time is it anyways?”

Mark looked at his wall clock. “About five in the morning.”

“What?! Are you serious?! We’ve been up since 9 last night?!”

“I guess trying to marathon our favorite shows together took up a lot of time. Then again, being with a good friend makes time go by faster. Don’t you think?”

_‘Why are you so nice to me?’_ “Yeah. I’m not even tired. But since we’re talking through the show, wanna do something else?”

“Like…twenty questions?”

“Mark, 12 year olds play twenty questions. I think we’re a bit too old ta be playin’ that.”

“Yeah, but it’ll be fun! We can learn things about one another. C’mon! Please?!”

“Fine.” Jack sat up and stretched slightly. “But I’ll start then. Okay…uh…what’s your favorite color?”

“Hmm…red.”

“Favorite food?”

“Chicken and dumplings.”

“Favorite fictional character?”

“Haven’t really thought about it. Maybe…Saitama? No, wait. Not Saitama. Maybe Sub-Zero? No, not him either. Let’s go with…uh…I don’t really have one. Sorry.”

“Okay, when’s your birthday?”

“June 28th.”

“What did you do before you became a Slime Rancher?”

“I did some gaming and some engineer work.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“So, if you were stuck here with only one precious thing with you, what would it be?”

“You.”

“W-What?”

“Alright. My turn! Your favorite color?”

Jack flushed, still reeling over Mark’s last answer. Was he really that precious to the older? Or was Mark trying to make him blush? “Green.”

“Figures.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing dear. What’s your favorite food? Potatoes and beer?”

“Haha. Making fun of me cuz I’m Irish. No, I actually like poutine.”

“What’s that?”

“Mark, three times you’ve insulted me. That’s three too many. How could you not know what poutine is?”

“I’m so sorry I’m different from your Irish ass. Go ahead. Next question.”

“Favorite fictional character?”

“Levi Heichou.”

“Who?”

“Attack on Titan. 10/10 best character and my favorite, would recommend.”

“Birthday?”

“February 7th.”

“What did you do before you were a slime rancher?”

“I didn’t really have a job or anything. I was crashing with my friends Felix and Ken.”

“Wait wait.” Mark held up a hand. “Pewdiepie Felix? The Swedish one?”

“Yeah. He mentioned you. A few times actually. I’m surprised we’ve never met before now.”

Mark started laughing. “I am so sorry. There’s no telling what kind of weird things he had you do.”

“I’ll give you a hint: he talked about being a pimp, please don’t ask, and said he’d have a company called B to the Third.”

“What were the B’s?”

“Big Bouncy Boobies. He called himself Pimpdeipie.”

Mark burst out laughing again, and this in turn made Jack start laughing. Not only the pure ridiculousness of the conversation, but Mark’s laugh was just infectious. He was genuinely having fun with him and he found even more about Mark that he liked. Sure they weren’t exactly the same, but that’s the beauty of a relationship: exploring one another.

“So how did you meet Felix?”

Jack blushed. “W-Well…he’s an internet star, and he was visiting Ireland with Ken. They were taking a picture by a fountain and I happened to…photobomb it.”

“Jaaaaaaack…”

“…I ran up to them screaming ‘PEWDEIPIE’ at the top of my lungs, tripped, and ended up tripping down a few stairs, and crashed right on top of him right when the camera man took the picture. So you now have a picture of Ken laughing his arse off, Felix looking like he was about to cry, and me on top of Felix looking like an idiot,” Jack explained. “He never lets me live it down.”

“Neither will I now that I know.”

“Mark please! I get enough from Felix!”

“Fine.” Mark yawned. “It’s getting late anyways. We should get some sleep; we do still have slimes to look after.”

“Sure Mark. You look like you’re about to fall over.”

“Yeah. Good morning Jack.”

“Top o’ th’ mornin’ to ya Mark.”

“You’re so Irish.”

“Shut up.”

Mark chuckled, turning over in his bed. After a few minutes, his breathing evened out, and Jack knew he was asleep. But Jack was still wide awake. Actually, his body was tired, but his mind wouldn’t let him rest. His thoughts were preoccupied by Mark again.

_‘He’s the type of person I could fall for. And it’s not like he’s unattractive either. Everything about him is…pretty much the things I like. But Mark isn’t interested in me like that, is he?’_ Jack pulled himself out of his sleeping bag and stared down at Mark. The man, even sleeping, was gorgeous, a supermodel even. _That_ would have been believable if Jack didn’t know Mark any better. He was vulnerable right now, and probably wouldn’t wake up. This was a horrible idea, on all accounts, but…

Leaning down, Jack lightly pressed his lips against Mark’s, giving him a soft goodnight (technically good morning) kiss. There was a chance that Mark could wake up, but Jack didn’t know when he’d have another opportunity like this. And maybe, before he did anything else that caused Mark to hate him, he’d indulge in this one moment.

Pulling back, Jack chuckled quietly to himself and laid back in his sleeping bag. After a few minutes, Jack drifted off to sleep. Not even his dreams were safe from Mark. The difference? At least in his dreams, Jack wasn’t a liar, and he and Mark had a happy relationship.

Waiting a few moments, Mark opened his eyes and looked over at Jack, seeing the green and brown haired male sleeping with a peaceful smile on his face. He had woken up the moment he heard Jack get up, but kept his eyes closed, intending on going back to sleep. However, when he heard Jack get close, Mark was tempted to play a little prank and scare him, but all thoughts left his head when he felt Jack kiss him. Mark stayed as still as possible, not wanting to ruin it in case Jack got all flustered. Mark had to admit that Jack was attractive; there was something about the adorable Irish man that Mark couldn’t help but like. He could fall for Jack if he wanted to. After all, this just proved that the feelings between them were mutual. He could _make_ Jack want him, or let this happen naturally. But either way, he was happy Jack had feelings for him.

 Mark grinned and climbed out of bed, quietly creeping over to Jack. Kneeling, he brushed some of Jack’s hair out of his face and kissed Jack, just as softly. The Irishman didn’t react, but his smile seemed to widen. Mark smiled as well and climbed into bed.

~Later~

Jack slowly blinked open his eyes, wincing when harsh light assaulted his pupils. The light was really bright, leading Jack to assume the sun had been up for a few hours. He really needed to get back and check on his own farm.

“Are you awake yet Waifu?” A familiar voice called from another room.

“Stop calling me that!” Jack yelled back. “Why aren’t you the Waifu?!”

“I’m bigger and stronger than you,” Mark called back, coming into the room. “Of course you’d be the wife.” He flexed his arms. “See these? These are not the arms of a wife.”

Jack’s mouth went dry.

At some point before Jack had woken up, Mark had changed out of his nightclothes and was now only wearing a pair of low-slung black sweatpants that were leaving little to Jack’s imagination. His skin was covered in a light sheen of sweat, his glasses were nowhere to be found, and his hair was sexily mussed in a way that Jack was beginning to fall in love with. And that body was to die for. Jack _really liked_ Mark’s body.

_‘This man isn’t a model yet? How?!’_

“The muscles don’t lie,” Mark said, and if he noticed Jack staring, he didn’t comment on it. “I see you’ve got a free ticket to the gun show.” He started posing in different positions, flexing his muscles at any chance he could. He noticed Jack staring and blushing and he was internally happy. It meant Jack at least found him attractive. Where Mark could take this, he’d soon find out.

Jack cleared his throat, folding his arms and looking away. “M-Muscles don’t mean everything.”

“Oh really?”

Before Jack could ask what that meant, Mark had swept him up in his arms and held him close. “See? You weigh almost nothing to me.”

“Put me down you arse!” Even though that was a lie. It felt nice being held this way, even if his pride wouldn’t allow him to take this sitting down.

Mark chuckled. “Fine fine. You baby. You even scream like a girl.” He set Jack on his feet but didn’t release him. “I wonder what other noises you make,” he purred.

Jack gulped. Was Mark being purposefully suggestive? “S-Shouldn’t you go put a shirt on?” He said, turning his head away from Mark. Really he was trying not to stare for too long. “And get off me! You’re all smelly and sweaty, and you’re getting your stench all over me.”

“I was working out in the other room, so excuse me Clover. Besides, I think I smell pretty manly.”

“No. You stink. Get off me and go take a shower.”

“No! I have to cover you in my scent! That way no one can pick my Clover!” He squeezed Jack in a bear hug and held him as close as possible.

“Mark! Get off!”

After twenty minutes of wrestling, which Jack lost, Mark was off in the shower while Jack was rooting through his clothes to find something somewhat suitable to wear.

“I’d never fit any o’ this,” Jack murmured. “It’d fall right offa me!”

He looked through some t-shirts, trying to find one that seemed small, but they all looked huge and would probably slip off of Jack if he tried them on. He was lucky that he had found some shorts that looked a bit too small for Mark, so he put them on, but they were extremely short and he had no idea why exactly Mark had shorts that looked way too small for him.

_‘Maybe they belong to his girlfriend and he took them by mistake,’_ Jack thought bitterly, then shook his head. Why did he care if Mark had a girlfriend? Why wouldn’t he? The man was gorgeous! Anyone would fall for that man, absolutely anyone. It would honestly surprise Jack if Mark were single.

_‘He could have any guy or girl. Why would I think he’d want me?’_

He slipped on a random shirt and sighed, running a hand through his messy hair. He really shouldn’t be spending so much time with Mark. His emotions were all over the place when he was near, and Jack couldn’t focus on what he was on the planet to do with Mark constantly in his thoughts.

Mark came out of the bathroom the next moment, tossing his dirty clothes in a hamper. “Are you wearing my clothes?”

“They’re all too fookin’ big,” Jack complained, tugging at the hem of the shirt. “I look sloppy.”

In Mark’s opinion, Jack looked adorable in too short shorts and an oversized t-shirt. The shorts were an old pair Mark had from when he was younger, though he continued to forget to throw them out. But on Jack, they fit perfectly, and if he could see the back, he knew that Jack’s wonderful ass would be all on display. The shirt was indeed to big, one shoulder slipping off and showing Jack’s pale shoulder. He had the boyfriend look going on for him, and a part of Mark wanted to see that look more often. It also helped that Jack had an adorable flush across his face. The whole picture was one that Mark could quickly get used to seeing.

“It doesn’t matter. I need ta go an check on my farm anyways.”

“It sucks that you live far away. If you were closer, we’d see each other more and wouldn’t have to worry too much about our farms,” Mark said.

“It does suck.” _‘Stop caring about me.’_ “But we can’t really control that. And you have your awesome upgraded jetpack. You can easily come and see me with it since ya love it so much.”

“I still can’t believe you haven’t figured out how to use that.”

“I know how ta use it! It just sucks!”

“Don’t worry Wife. You’ll figure it out eventually. Now be a good Jack and go tend to your slimes.”

“Don’t tell me how to live my life.”

Mark’s laugh echoed after him as Jack stomped away.

Once he was gone, Mark sighed. “I think I like him. Like a lot.”

Chica jumped off the bed and peered up at him, cocking her head to the side. Mark shook his head, scratching behind her ear. “Don’t worry about it Chica. I think I’m just lovesick.”

Chica barked.

“I don’t want to push anything onto him, but I know he likes me. So, should I _make_ him want me? Show him all the things Mark Edward Fischbach has to offer?”

Chica nuzzled his leg and panted. In her mind, her master wasn’t petting her and he needed to.

“I agree. It’s time to start Operation: Make Jack Fall for Markimoo!”

A ringing from his dresser had Mark tearing himself away from Chica and going to answer the phone. He didn’t look at the number, instead just accepted the call. “Hello?”

_“Mr. Fischbach?”_

Mark held back a growl at the stern voice. His bosses were on the other line. He _hated_ his bosses with a passion. They were only after the money while Mark was only here to truly learn about slimes and make them feel comfortable around humans. He just wanted to play with these things, not exploit them for money. But the assholes he worked for were only concerned with how to use plorts for money, which was what Mark was against.

“I’m here yes. Is something the matter?”

_“Not at all. In fact, we wanted to praise you for all the hard work you’ve done in such a short time.”_

“Oh. Well then-“

_“And also inform you that you will need to improve your working conditions.”_

_‘And there’s the real reason,’_ Mark though sarcastically. _‘It’s never just one thing with these assholes. All they care about is their money and how to get it faster.’_

“What’s wrong with them?”

_“Nothing. Nothing is wrong per say. It’s just that we had to inform you that you’ll be competing against another Slime Rancher, and our company cannot fall behind in this race.”_

“Another Slime Rancher?”

_“Another company employed one Séan William McLoughlin as their Slime Rancher, and he is very distinguished as a Slime Rancher. A lot of talk is going on about him in our world.”_

“Can you please get to the point?” _‘What does Jack have to do with anything?’_

_“Mark, we are **not** going to fall behind in this race. We may be aligned with the other company, but that doesn’t mean we want to match them; we want to beat them. If you want to keep this job, I suggest you do everything in your power to beat Mr. McLoughlin.”_

“I’ll see what I can do,” Mark said flatly, hanging up the phone without waiting for a response.

_‘I’m going to do something big. Something that’ll expose slimes for more than just profit. And I’ll get Jack to help me.’_

~Jack~

Jack narrowed his eyes as he stared into the pen. “What’re you up to?”

The Tabby Slimes in the pen stared at him with their silly smiles.

“You guys are the trouble makers. What did you do?”

He probably looked silly talking to his slimes the way he was, but he knew that while they could slightly understand him, there was still something off with them. His Tabbies never behaved. Except for Jerry, but he was different. Jerry never acted up, at least when Jack had an eye on him, he didn’t. But the others ones…they were sneaky bastards.

“Well, at least ya didn’t act up while I was gone. That woulda been a bitch,” Jack said. “And you guys actually made quite a few plorts! I knew that auto feeder was a good idea.”

He collected his plorts and decided that he didn’t need to keep them in corrals since they had been locked up for so long and decided that they could roam around. He just made sure to constantly keep an eye on all of his slimes, just in case they decided to get out and go wandering. He wouldn’t have time to track them all down.

“My Phosphor slimes could use more food,” he muttered to himself as he threw more food to them. “I have to wait until later tonight to let them free though…can I even do that? They might float away…”

Jack released his Pink Slimes and his Honey Slimes, knowing that they couldn’t cause too much trouble being free, and he kept a close eye on his Rock slimes. He knew that they were the tricky bastards too.

“Now, I can either relax, explore, or just play around with them,” Jack said aloud. “And the third option sounds _much_ better.”

Jerry purred, having wandered away from his friends and muzzled Jack’s leg. Jack picked him up and grinned. “Alright Jerry. Let’s play.”

~Mark~

“I can’t believe you.”

_“What do you want me to say?! I forgot!”_

“How could you forget? The guy was living with you for weeks, we spoke during those weeks, and you somehow forgot to introduce me to your attractive Irish friend? How hard does Ken slam you into the headboard?”

_“…that was unnecessary. And who says Ken tops?!”_

“Oh please. I can’t see you topping Ken. Not in a million years.”

_“…fine. Everyone is entitled to their opinions. Except yours is fucking wrong!”_

“Sure…let’s change the topic before things get weird…or, weirder then they already are.”

_“Anyways, so you and Jack have been hanging out lately yeah? And he took care of you too. How’d you like having an Irish caretaker?”_

“He’s more like a mother hen. He didn’t let me do much while I was injured and made me swear not to do anything while he’s gone. He’s coming back over tonight.”

_“Ooh. I wonder what for.”_

He could just picture Felix winking on the other end and he rolled his eyes. “We’re just gonna watch movies and shit. Nothing big.”

_“That sounds like Netflix and Chill. And we all know how that ends up for people. Either really good. Or really bad.”_

“Shut up Felix.”

The other male laughed over the line. _“But seriously, don’t fuck this up Mark. If you really like Jack, that’s fine with me, but he’s a good friend of mine and I don’t want to see him hurt. And neither will Ken. Jack…he’s been through some shit, and I’d like to see him happy.”_

“I’d make him happy,” Mark replied. “That’s all I want to do. Jack is…I don’t know, but there’s something about him that I find really attractive and I like it. He’s adorable and he has a great smile. I want to keep him smiling, and I’d be quick to right whatever wrong I’ve done.”

Felix sniffed. _“T-That was beautiful…you had me tearing up and shit…give me a minute.”_

_“That really was beautiful.”_ Another voice said.

“Was Ken listening the whole time?!”

_“A-Anyways, have fun with Jack tonight!”_

_“Bye Mark!”_

Mark sighed when the line went dead, but had a fond smile on his face. “Those two…”

Of course, he would make Jack happy. He just had to work for to get Jack to love him.

~With Jack~

“Hello?” He wasn’t sure who was calling him, but he didn’t want to hang up in case it was his bosses. “Who is this?”

_“Jack? Oh good. You picked up.”_

“Mark? How’d you get my number?”

_“I asked Felix. Man, I didn’t think cell service would be this good on this planet. Wow!”_

“Mark, ya big doof. What didja want?” He smiled fondly, setting a Honey Slime aside for the moment.

_“Well, I have an idea, but I have to ask you something.”_

“Go on.” Jack pet Jerry, who was sitting by his Tabby friends and shifted his phone to the other ear.

_“Well, how do you feel about your slimes?”_

“They’re awesome! I love them so much! I mean, I hate the company I work for and what they’re aiming for, but I love my slimes. They’ve grown on me.”

_“Good. So, I wanted to ask if…well, did you want to start a video series with me?”_

“Huh?”

_“It’d be all about slimes! Instead of exploiting them, we’d show off how adorable they are and the great things about them! We’d document their capture, how they live, what they eat, and just how much fun they are in general.”_

“Wow…that actually sounds…pretty cool. I never even thought to consider something like that.” Jack grinned down at Jerry, who grinned back up at him. “That’s a great idea Mark.”

_“You’re on board?”_

“Of course! I’d love to! It would show people how amazing slimes really are!”

_“That was my thought process.” Mark laughed. “I was so scared that you would think my idea was stupid…”_

“What? Never Mark. I’d never think that.”

Mark was silent for a moment. _“Yeah…thanks Jack. I’ll…uh…I’ll talk to you again when I sort out the details.”_

“Alright. See ya later Mark.”

Jack hung up the phone, somehow feeling lighter than before. Of course, he’d jump at the chance to do anything with Mark. And if he was able to spend time with Mark and the slimes…

Well, it’d be a dream come true.

Jerry purred a bit, gently nibbling at Jack’s wrist.

“Huh? Oh, sorry Jerry. I was just…lost in thought.”

_‘That Mark…’_ Jack grinned.

~Three Days Later~

“Hello everybody! My name is Mark Fischbach and I’m here with my good friend Jack McLoughlin.” Mark said into the camera. Jack gave a small wave and grinned. “Top of tha mornin’ to ya laddies.”

“That was so freakin’ Irish,” Mark muttered, causing Jack to flip him off. “But anyways, we have very unique jobs as Slime Ranchers. We’re here to do research on…” he turned the camera to Jack, who held Jerry and Tim in his arms. “These adorable little guys. These are the slimes.”

Jerry started purring happily and Tim made a little ‘woohoo’ noise when the camera got closer. Jerry reached out to try and nibble on the camera, but Mark was quick to pull it away, chuckling.

“Slimes are…actually pretty unique,” Jack explained. “Not even Mark and I really know all that much about them. We know that they’re just like regular animals. They need food and rest and a comfortable place to live. But they all have special needs. And…well, Mark and I want your help to figure out more about them.”

“Jack’s right,” Mark added. “You see, slimes ae like regular animals. They have to poop too. But the problem is, their poop is actually worth a lot of money. Apparently, an extreme amount of money that Jack and I don’t really know the true cost of. The problem is that our bosses, who we won’t name for legal reasons, want us to change how we raise our slimes so that we make them more money. Jack and I didn’t take this job to make money. We took it because we love animals. So, join us on our adventures into what slimes truly are. Cause these guys-“ he poked Tim, causing the Honey slime to giggle. “Admit it. They’re really adorable. So, Jack and I hope to see you guys tuning in.”

“We’ll see all you guys in the next video!”

“Buh-bye!”

Mark shut off the camera and grinned. “Well, that was highly productive.”

“I mean, for an introduction video, I think it was pretty solid,” Jack admitted. “We did get our message across.”

“Yeah.” Mark smiled at him. “Hey uh, Jack? I actually wanted to ask you something else. And please don’t laugh at me.”

“No Mark. I still don’t like my jetpack; nothing you can say can make me like it.”

“N-No. That wasn’t it. I just…I just was thinking. It’s a real pain to go between each other’s houses, and it isn’t really productive for us to keep going after each other and worrying about our slimes every day. So I had to ask if…”

Jack’s eyes widened. “Y-You can’t be seriously asking me to move in with you.”

“N-Not move in with me!” Mark said, holding up his hands. “No. I meant…look, there’s another area close to here that’s literally a few feet from my house. It might be a big step, but what if you moved there? It’d be close to me, we could explore a new area, and we’d spend more time together to make our videos and take care of our slimes together. You could give me tips, and we could get a lot more done if we work closer together.”

“Mark…” Internally, Jack was screaming. This was all too much to process. He and Mark hadn’t been friends for long, yet the other was already suggesting that they move closer to one another? Sure, Jack didn’t have that much luck in finding new slimes back in his area, but could he really just pack everything and move closer to Mark? And the better question: Did Mark really have that much trust in him?

“There’s already a house over there,” Mark continued, thinking Jack was considering the offer. “A few friends of mine considered getting slime rancher jobs, but turned them down. So the house is just sitting there. But it’s just there, furnished and everything. I’m sure we can work something out. A transfer or something. And I can help move your slimes too.”

“Mark, hang on.” Jack held up a hand. “This sounds…like a really great development for us. I think it’s really great but…well, it’s just too fast. And we don’t know all that much about each other despite how much we’ve talked. I like being with you and doing this, but give me some time to think about it, alright?”

“O-Oh…I uh, I wasn’t really implying that you should move _now,_ I just meant that…well, maybe soon? I don’t really know. I had my hopes up for nothing. And I’ll stop talking. Remove foot from mouth and all.”

Jack chuckled. “Mark, it really was a sweet idea, but I just need time to think. And you should get back to your farm as well. But I really will think about it.”

Mark nodded. “Okay…okay.” He smiled. “See ya later Jack!” And he zoomed away on his jetpack.

Jack waited about ten minutes, just playing around with his slimes, and then he screamed.

“Fookin’ Mark!” Jack shouted, startling his slimes. “Why?! Why does he have to play with my emotions?! Why do I have to hurt him?!”

He hated what he did for his job. Hated how his bosses had such a tight hold on his life. If he screwed up here, those assholes were bound to ruin him in society. They were powerful enough to do that. And because of them, there was someone else here he was falling for someone who he liked, and he had to go and ruin them. Jack knew in his heart that he couldn’t sabotage Mark, but…he really needed his job…it was one of the only things he had left. He loved his slimes, he really did. But then Mark had to come along and…

Jack punched the ground beside him, making a few of his slimes back away. “I hate this!”

Jerry whimpered, trying in vain to calm Jack down, but the Irishman began shaking, trying to wrap his mind around everything that happened.

“I need this job,” Jack whispered. “But my bosses are making me fight with Mark…and I really like him.” He looked at his slimes and shook his head. “What’s more important to me? My job, or my happiness?”

_‘Mark’s the most important thing.’_

**_I am so sorry for the long delay, but I had a massive case of writer’s block and just general problems with time. If this chapter seems off, it’s because of a lot of factors, but mostly school, my time management, and writer’s block. Thank you guys for tuning in and I’ll see you next chapter!~_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo! We're done! Next chapter is going to be about Mark returning a favor to Jack...and that's all I'll say. Also, have you guys seen the Cool Patrol music video by NSP? How would you feel about an AU based on that? It'd be Septiplier of course, but would you guys like that? Let me know. And see you next chapter!

**Author's Note:**

> And that was the first chapter of Slime Ranchers! I hope you all enjoyed and check back for chapter two, where we meet Jack!


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